Just Don't Call Me Late For Dinner: The Week Seven Review

The Blistering Barnacles fought their way to 2-2 draw against Brimstone Bonestealers in their round 7 match-up, their fourth tie game of their thus far winless season. The Stealers themselves seem to be meeting unexpected resistance this season, the team clearly feeling the loss of Murken Shadowspike in game 6. The Barnacles put up a good fight against the DragonBowl trophy holders, going into the last quarter of the match with a 2-1 lead, on touchdowns scored by Lerkin Sneek and up-and-comer Little Tokyo, but a hard-hitting Bonestealers offence cleared the way for the tying touchdown by the veteran Fangmouth Earchewer in the final minutes of the match..

The Blue Blighters blazed their way to a 4-2 victory over the Avelorn Paladins, getting off to a shaky start as the Paladins stole the ball on an early blitz, Copy Fish picking up the first touchdown. The rest of the half was touch and go as the Paladins once again stole the ball, but the Blighters managed to recover, long-legged gutter runner Slipps evening up the score at the end of the first. The second half became a tour de force for the Blighters as they picked up three touchdowns (Slipps scoring twice more for a personal hat trick and linerat Skritchit picking up the final touchdown) giving up only one in return as Crazy Precog scored on a solid Paladins drive mid-way through the half.

It was a 2-2 draw as the Short and Surly did their best to inflict massive damage on the Wild Hunt, the slippery elves somehow managing to keep the score even as their dugout slowly filled with casualties. With the two teams trading touchdowns in each half (hobgoblin Shitless picking up two for the Surly, the dynamic duo of Sceloan and Wychwethyl accounting for the two Hunt touchdowns), the Hunt took an absolutely pounding at the hands of the Surly offense, suffering 10 casualties in total, 5 inflicted by minotaur Agamemnon the Horny alone. Notorious dirty player Assmonkey was hard at work, fouling prone treeman Fangorn in the 2nd half, giving him a pinched nerve which will likely dog him for the rest of his career. Other notable injuries were line-elf Nelya2 out with a fractured arm, and Attea5 now with one foot in the grave suffering a fractured skull after getting trampled badly by Agamemnon in the last minutes of the game.

The Mass Killers continued to consolidate their lead over the rest of Division A with a 2-1 victory against the Frothy Steins. The Killers had the strength to power through the stolid Dwarves, leaving the Steins with only five players on the field at the end of the first half as beastman PowerCollin stepped into the end zone to put the Killers on the scoreboard. Despite having only nine players available in the 2nd half, the Steins made a bit of a comeback, returning some of the pain inflicted in the first as Powercollin went down with broken ribs and, on the heels of a second killers touchdown by Dens B. Lair, beastman Chupacabra was killed outright by Bloodmember, HarryPalms scoring a touchdown in the last minutes of the match.

The Frog Machine struggled to a 3-3 draw against the Styg's Mates in a hard hitting game which saw the Mates leading in the first half after touchdowns by Barbossa and Henry Morgan and holding the Machine to only one score by Skrequal Sedizimo. The Machine fought back to regain the lead with two lighting touchdowns by Skrittar Quarzo and Sratsquick Terzo, but attrition favoured the Mates, a last minute drive with a four man advantage netting a tying touchdown scored by One-Eyed Willy. The Mates showed their potenital calibre in tying up the Dragon Conference leader despite having a winless season thus far.

In yet another draw game, the Creeping Flesh tied up the Blood Drakkar 1-1 in a grinding match that featured both teams trading touchdowns, the Flesh scoring first with a touchdown by wight Scurvey, and then Bjorn Bellegaf picking up one for the Drakkar at the middle of the second half after a confused play.  Alas the cabalvision replay is hopelessly corrupted except for the final quarter of the game, and did not capture ogre Grossebouf going down with a broken jaw. The Flesh seem to be on the road to recovery after a disastrous season start... time will tell!
 

The Rongeurs Flamboyants inflicted a sharp 3-1 defeat on the Slicers and Bad Dicers, re-asserting their dominance in Frog Conference. After exhcanging touchdowns in the first half, gutter runner Dilate la Rate squeaked in a last minute go ahead touchdown (his second of the game) at the end of the half and brought the Flamboyants into the second half ahead 2-1. Early in the second the Flamboyants managed to turn around the Dicers drive, Came Rat picking up the touchdown, the Dicers subsequently falling just short of tying the game up late in the half. The Dicers were out-bashed by their lightweight opponents, lineorc Wanton Slut suffering a fractured leg at the hands of the fans after being jostled into the stands, and tragically black orc blocker Ses Same Chick w/BrokOloYee fatally eviscerated by a low block from storm vermin Fier à Rat in the closing seconds of the match.

The Straight to Videos pulled off an impressive 5-2 win over the ailing Banner Guard Bloods, making them the second team to score 5 touchdowns in one match in league play. The Bloods having just come out of a brutal defeat at the hands of the Sharks were able to field only eight players for the match, but were nevertheless able to get in the first shot, lion warrior Charles scoring early in the first. From there it was all downhill as the Videos took advantage of ball handling errors and a thin Bloods lineup to score three quick touchdowns in the remaining time in the first. After another Videos touchdown at the outset of the second, The Bloods rallied somewhat, line-elf Sherman scoring after a protracted struggle. The Videos picked up their final touchdown in a daring sideline drive late in the game, capped off with a short pass from "I love it when a plan comes together..." to wardancer "Run Forrest, Run" in the end zone in the closing minute.

The Rage Sharks, jockeying for second spot in Frog Conference, won a narrow 1-0 victory over the Drakehead Smashers in a game that was dominated by close hand to hand combat between the two teams. After the Sharks picked up a touchdown (scored by up-and-comer Grumph Khorne-Nuggets von Grumphinson) at the middle of the first half, the game stagnated into a line of scrimmage brawl, with neither team able to gain decisive control of the ball right up until the final whistle. The only serious injury, surprisingly, was skink Godspeed who suffered a fractured skull after a near breakaway was shut down by the Sharks safety play.

The struggling Screaming Midgets managed to tie up the Harem 2-2 after a tense running match that saw no real injuries. Each team scored once in each half after extended maneuvering, the lightning quick Longjohn Steamy picking up two touchdowns for the Midgets and Amazons Ali and Sam getting one each for the Harem, the Harem scoring their tying touchdown late in the 2nd after almost getting shutdown by the Midgets defence, thrower Val recovering from a fumble to fire an accurate pass into the arms of Ali in the end zone.

The Horny Babes pulled off a hard fought 1-1 draw against the Mad Howlers, earning them yet more points following their 6th round victory over the Midgets. With several Babes running late, coach LedPiper had only six players ready to field at the first kcikoff, and predictably the first half went severely against the Chaos team, the Howlers, leisuresly taking their time to inflict as much damage as they could manage on the overwhelmed Babes before blitzer Skullcrak brought the ball in to the Babes end zone to score late in the half. The Babes returned with a vengeance in the 2nd, however, stopping the Howler's drive cold (Gora the Impaler putting Krotchkik out with a smashed knee in the process), chaos warrior Bloody Bombshell stealing the ball and running in to score the tying touchdown.

The Lustria Divas thoroughly dominated the Putrid Swamp Boozzhounds with a 3-0 victory, linewoman Molly picking up the first of two touchdowns, robbed from Boozzhounds possession, a feat the Divas would repeat to make it 2-0 before the halftime whistle, catcher Daniella scoring in the final seconds. Molly picked up her second touchdown near the end of the game after a long struggle in the second half, the Boozzhounds best efforts not quite good enough to prevent the score from further mounting.
 

As 72,000 fans looked on, the Bloodpie Bakers defeated the Dead-On Balls Inaccurate 2-1, continuing their steady climb through the standings. Exploiting the unsure feet of human catcher P.D. who tripped himself up yards short of the end zone, Bakers' hobgoblin Pastry Boy retrieved the ball and made an end-to-end 24-square rush, heavily escorted by his teammates to put the score at 1-0 Bakers at the end of the first.  The Bakers rode the wave of this coup, and, despite giving up a touchdown ( on a ball handling error early in the 2nd, pulled it together to score the winning touchdown, Blood Shot the bull centaur receiving the ball on a touchback and taking it home. Securing their lead, the Bakers blitzed the Inaccurate offence, ending any hopes of a tie game and clinching the victory.

The Noir Desir won their 4th game in a row, beating the orcish Funeral March 2-1 after 153 minutes of intense play. The first half belonged to the March, Hard Hitter scoring after the March offence ground its way up the pitch, and then squelching the Desir return drive, but the Desir came out swinging in the second half, blitzer Vlad El Negro receiving a beautiful pass to score the tying touchdown. The Desir then clinched victory after disrupting the Marc offence with a fast blitz, ultimately stealing possession, witch elf Angela Del Meurta receiving a pass in the end zone to score the winning touchdown, mere minutes left on the clock.

It was a good week for Dark Elves as the Spermosaurs scored a sound 2-0 victory over the Screaming Vikings, who have been shut out their second match in a row. Able to field only 9 players at the first kick, the Spermosaurs were quickly reduced to only five on pitch due to knock outs in close combat, but nonetheless held their own against the norsemen, badly hurting three of their opponents and knocking another one out, clearing the way for blitzer Notsaint to score and put them on the board. With the odds evened, the Spermosaurs managed to shut down the Vikings for the rest of the half, going on to thoroughly dominate the second half, handedly winning the battle of attrition and picking up another touchdown scored by IosII. The Vikings able now to field only 5 players to the Spermosaurs 8, suffered further tragedy in the last play of the game, witch elf Grandpa Smurf delivering a knocking lineman Frasierson flat and proceeding to crush his larynx with a vicious elbow drop. The remaining Vikings managed to put the ball out of reach of another Spermosaurs touchdown, ending the game at 2-0.

The Dead Zone ended the Sylvan Supersonics winning streak with a crushing 4-1 defeat.  A shocked Coach Blueberry looked on as his plays were systematically dismantled by the Undead team.  Everything seemed to be going well as the Sonics picked up a lightning fast touchdown right of the first kick, but the Zone return drive proved too much for the Wood Elves to handle, ghoul Charger scoring the tying touchdown after a solid Zone cage steamrolled the Sonics defence, and then scoring the go-ahead touchdown after the Zone crushed the Sonics attempted return drive. Ghouls Viper and Daytona scored the remaining two touchdowns in the 2nd half, exploiting errors by the Sonics in the late stages of the game. The Sonics undoubtedly got an earful from coach Blueberry after this match!!

The powerful Nipply Cadavers could not squeeze more than a 1-1 draw form the stunty Picken Flicks despite their far superior weight. The Flicks had hired Fungus the Loon to give them some extra crunch power on the scrimmage line, and he did indeed cause considerable chaos in the opening stages of the match until he went down with a coronary midway through the half [Ed: Apparently Fungus was revived successfully by goblin tribal shamans and is resting comfortably]. Despite the confusion and disruption the ball and chain wreaked, the Cadavers recovered enough for, ghoul Sweepz "Greasy Tongue" Underhuggz to score before the end of the half. The second half was a back and forth affair, with the Flicks ultimately prevailing, goblin Glenn stealing the ball and dashing 18 squares to the Cadavers end zone to tie the game up.

The Hoary Dervishes scored their second season victory, a 2-0 affair over the Get Shorty. Astoundingly the halflings managed to score on two running plays, assisted by the extra weight of treeman Wesley (who actually showed up for the first half for a change) who proved his value early by crushing the skull of chaos dwarf Dvezil, killing him, shortly before Lars ran in to score the first touchdown. Playing some magnificent defensive Bloodbowl, the Dervishes managed to shut down the Shorty drive at the end of the first and turn them around in the second, Lars scoring a second touchdown late in the game. The butchers bill was not as bad as it could have been, with Flowers suffering a fractured skull and Sally Ann a smashed knee, on the whole a solid victory for the Halfling team.
 

Schedule Still on Track: Week Six Grinds to a Close

The last few round 6, Division A matches were played out, some spilling over into week 7, fortunately not impacting the schedule adversely.

On Friday the 12th it was the Mass Killers picking up a 4-2 victory over the outgunned but still defiant Blood Drakkar. The lightly armored Norsemen picked their battles carefully and managed to come away with no permanent injuries, in fact giving better than they got (inflicting 3 casualties and suffering only 1).  The Killers also suffered no permanent losses however, and were able to trade on their heavy armor and full roster to dominate the play, Dens B. Lair picking up 2 touchdowns, PowerCollin and Sara Fat making the other two. The victory puts the Killers firmly at number 1 in A division overall.

That same evening the Avelorn Paladins fought their way to a 2-2 draw with the Blistering Barnacles.  A predictably fast paced game, both teams got away without any injuries.  Each team picked up a touchdown in each half (the Paladins narrowly missing a go-ahead opportunity at the tail end of the first), lion warrior M. K. Klaw, with two touchdowns, doing all the running work for the Paladins assisted by the tremendous passing arm of phoenix warrior Alex Hapsburg. For the barnacles the well known skink pair Stil Slitherin and Lerkin Sneek picked up a touchdown each in two dramatic rushes.

In a battle of the vertically challenged, the Frothy Steins tackled the Short and Surly, the match ending in a rare scoreless draw (the first such occurrence in league play). Most of the play occurred in the Surly end of the pitch, the Steins pushing deep in the first half only to get bogged down, losing the ball which the Surly clung doggedly to until there was no longer time to score. The Steins made their bid in the hobgoblin Shitless making an inadvisable dash up the sideline only to be knocked bodily into the crowd. Rookie longbeard Grand Poobah made a final attempt to score for the Steins, amazingly picking up the ball, but bull centaur Doomcharger put an end to any scoring hopes with a last minute blitz.

The final round 6 match was played last night between the Wild Hunt and Styg's Mates, the Hunt chalking up a 2-1 victory over the winless Mates. Despite gaining an early edge in casualties, the Mates were not able to convert their manpower advantage into a touchdown until the closing seconds of the game. Vallo made the touchdown for the Mates against minimal opposition, the Hunt sitting safely at 2 after a first half touchdown by Sceolan and a second half robbery that saw Wethylwych scoring his first career point.
 

The Horny Babes smashed their way to their first league victory with a 1-0 win over the struggling Screaming Midgets last Friday night. Despite losing UNHOLY TERROR for the match with a broken jaw in the opening minutes, the Babes punched through the Midgets defence like an armored fist through cheesecloth, the long-legged beastchick Meatpuppet brushing off pursuing dwarves to score her second career touchdown early in the first. With an impromptu "victory riot" held by Babes fans, the pitch was unplayable for the remainder of the first half, the Babes decisively shutting down the Midgets drive in the 2nd half, protecting their 1-0 lead until the final whistle brought them sweet victory.
 

The Dead Zone swept to a decisive 2-0 victory over the Get Shorty Monday night. The dynamic ghoul duo of Charger and Viper picked up the two touchdowns, the Zone defence doing a good job of containing the two scoring attmepts by the fast and amazingly dexterous bull centaur Fritz in the second half. The Zone displayed good cohesion on the pitch, maneuvering their cage across the pitch with well-drilled precision. With remarkably few injuries and a strong showing at the gate, both teams profited well from this match.

The Noir Desir set a league record last Sunday with a spectacular 6-0 victory over the Screaming Vikings, wresting the top honours in Frog Conference from the Norse team. The Desir were on top of their game, inflicting numerous casualties on the Vikings in the early part of the game, reducing the Norse squad to 8 players by the end of the 1st half and exploiting the inability of Vikings receiver Pitchlaballson to pick up the ball. Maintaining the pressure, the Desir executed two kickoff blitzes, one in each half, brushing aside the undermanned Vikings line in each case. The witch elves of the Desir did most of the scoring, Angela del Meurta scoring a personal hat trick, Claudia Demonia picking up two, and rookie blitzer No Sif scoring the final touchdown late in the 2nd half. Gaining some measure of revenge in the closing minutes of the game, ogre NogNogUzDer charged the Desir defensive line, delivering a crushing blow to line-elf Mah Lhin killing him instantly, the veteran (and remarkably strong) line-elf being the only serious Desir casualty suffered. The victory cements the Desir's position at the top of Division C.

The Spermosaurs picked up a 4-2 victory over the Hoary Dervishes on Wednesday night in an injury filled crowd-pleasing match. Although treeman Wesley was wide awake for the first half, the Dervishes suffered heavily at the hands of the Spermosaurs offence, Algernon going down with a broken jaw and Joe taken out with a broken neck in the early minutes of the game, and then, tragically, Dieter suffering a debilitating smashed collar bone as the game progressed. The Spermosaurs ran roughshod over the halflings, picking up three touchdowns (Smurfette, Pusher and Pid) in the first half and one (Ashbit) in the 2nd, but suffered casualties of their own as line-elf Nagiox was killed trying to dodge and Tty slipping and breaking his hip as he tried to sprint into the end zone. The Dervishes answered with two successful fling plays in the last seconds of the 1st and early in the 2nd, Lars scoring both touchdowns.
 

And a Hard Outer Shell: JavaBowl 7.0d Released!

JavaBowl 7.0d is released to fix a FUMBBL login problem that does not really concern us!  Get it in the downloads section...

• Ver D: This time, hopefully Fixes the FUMBBL login problem in ver b and c.

Nevertheless, latest is greatest!
 

It's Got a Chewy Center: JavaBowl 7.0c Released!

JavaBowl 7.0c Fixes several bugs, the most important one being Kick... hmmm didn't even notice it was broken!  Get it in the downloads section...

• Ver C: Fixes the FUMBBL login problem in ver b.
• Ver B: Gets the KICK skill working again.
• Ver B: Fixes a MULTIPLE BLOCK problem again FOUL APPEARANCE.
• Ver B: Fixes a problem with new HYPNOTIC GAZE. Selecting and unselecting the skill during a move would cause the player's move to get stuck.
• Ver B: Fixes a threading problem where I was creating more threads than necessary (internal programming issue).
• Ver B: See bugzilla on FUMBBL for additional bug fixes in this patch.

Catching Up: Sunday Dec. 7th - Thursday Dec. 11th

Death of a Rising Star: Bonestealers 1 Blighters 1

With Coach Puswort off reportedly spawning offspring, proxy Coach Baboune's decision to hire renowned rat ogre star Headsplitter for the Blue Blighters match against the Brimstone Bonestealers Monday night seemed fortuitous. In the opening seconds of the match, rat ogre Mittens threw himself at mummy Dus "Mummybane" Nel-Etgath in a frenzied rage, only to bounce off and lie whimpering in a fetal ball form which he could not be coaxed out of for the remainder of the match. Moments later, gutter runner Snukit, who had been standing next to the now hors-de-combat Mittens, was double teamed by Dus and wight Murken Shadowspike, who blitzed into the little Skaven, smashing his hand. The Blighters rallied quickly, however, inflicting a far more significant loss on the Stealers, storm vermin Leapsies avenging Snukit's injury by launching himself at Murken Shadowspike, disemboweling the wight with a powerful flying kick. Murken's tortured soul fled this plane, and the Stealers had suffered an irreplaceable loss [Ed: Murken was a 24 game veteran, with 7 touchdowns and 5 casualties to his credit.  Easily one of the most versatile players in the league, he is also the most experienced player killed to date]. With Headsplitter badly hurting skeleton Kixum Coccyx, the odds were even once again. The two teams struggled deep in the Blighters half, the Skaven offence having gone out the window with the early game confusion. The Blighters cleared their zone but could not score, and after losing 4 players knocked unconscious as the half progressed, they could not prevent the Bonestealers from regaining the initiative, ghoul Scabclaw Buttmunch scoring to make it 1-0 in the closing seconds of the first half. The second half seemed to be going poorly for the defending Blighters, with storm vermin Skitters badly hurt early on, but the Blighters carried the fight into the Stealers zone with vigor, linerat Skippy scoring a touchdown after a confused melee to tie the game at 1-1. The remaining quarter of regulation time proved insufficient for the Bonestealers to break the Blighters defence, despite Headsplitter joining the other Blighters casualties in the dugout, badly hurt in the final minutes, and the final whistle was blown on a 1-1 draw.
 

Flesh on the Fire: Machine 4 Flesh 1

Spike! trophy holders the Creeping Flesh suffered their worst setback yet this season against the 1st place Frog Machine. As 81,000 fans looked on, screaming with delight, the game opened up with an immediate setback for the Flesh, rat ogre Rendflesh Salivar ploughing into wight Plagued, sending him off the pitch with a pinched nerve, following up by laying into nearby ghoul Demented, badly hurting him. With their flank demolished, there was nothing the Flesh could do to prevent gutter runner Skrequal Sedizimo form handing off to gutter runner Skrittar Quarzo to run easily to the end zone and score the first TD of the match. A ball-handling error by wight Scurvey on the next kick led to a melee deep in the Flesh zone, with skeleton Rattler badly hurt and the Machine stealing the ball, Skrequal heading for the end zone. The Flesh's woes continued as ghoul Deranged attempted to leap out of the scrum to chase down the speeding gutter runner, but was upended as he flew through the air, landing square on his head, fatally breaking his neck. Reduced to nine, the Flesh received the next kick but their drive did not cross the line of scrimmage as Scurvey dropped the ball after tripping up on Rendflesh's prehensile tail. Shortly after, skeleton Dem Bones went down with a smashed knee, and Skrequal was dashing once more to the Flesh end zone, ball in hand... but the time ran out before he could get there. With both teams short-handed in the second half (the Machine at nine and the Flesh at seven), the Flesh received and pushed forward. An intense fight led to Rendflesh going down in a knot of Flesh players, and wight Scurvey making a break for it. Scurvey was brought down by the Machine defence, and as notorious dirty player Decay repeatedly fouled the huge rat ogre, badly hurting him, Skrequal scored another touchdown, making it 3-0. Now eight on eight, the Flesh received once more and drove forward, overrunning the Machine. Decay viciously fouled prone linerat Krasslik Setzmo, breaking his jaw, to which the machine responded by badly huting zombie Rotten [Ed: making 4 of 4 injuries that failed to regenerate].  With time running down, the remaining Skaven did their best to smother the Flesh drive, but wight Scurvey came through big time, stunning thrower Rikek Sesto on a blitz and dashing along the sideline, dodging past Skrittar Quarzo to sprint into the end zone and put the Flesh on the score board.  With barely a minute to play, the Machine showcased the sprinting abilities of Skrittar Quarzo who received the ball at the line of scrimmage and sprinted the 13 squares to the Flesh end zone to bring the score to 4-1. A painful game for the Flesh, whose roster has been systematically gutted this season.
 

Ladies of No Mercy: Divas 3 Smashers 1

In some late 5th round action, the Lustria Divas soundly defeated the Drakehead Smashers 3-1 before the eyes a 54,000 strong crowd. The Divas thoroughly dominated the play, after recovering from near disaster on the first drive, executing a perfect passing-handoff play that saw linewoman Molly pick up the first touchdown, then stealing the ball from the Smashers on their return drive, linewoman Xena 3.0 picking up the second touchdown. The final Smashers drive of the first was smothered in a solid defence. The Divas allowed one touchdown against them in the second half, skink Godspeed dodging like a maniac to score despite heavy Amazon interference. The remainder of the half saw the toughest Divas drive in the game, a confused combative affair in which the Smashers suffered heavily in casualties, saurus Godisdead out with a gouged eye, saurus Hector and skink Godgiven out badly hurt joining skink Godzouky (who had suffered a damaged back in the 1st half) in the injury tent. Ultimately it was linewoman Molly who once again scored for the Divas, rendering the final score 3-1 in touchdowns and 5-1 in casualties.
 

Sharks Taste Blood: Sharks 3 Bloods 0

In a game that would go down as the most violent, blood-soaked affair to date, the Rage Sharks literally ate the Banner Guard Bloods alive on Wednesday night. The trouble started quickly, as the initial Bloods drive bogged down against a stubborn defence. An attempted reverse play resulted in phoenix warrior Napoleon getting blitzed to the ground so hard he stopped breathing, although he was quickly revived by the efficient Bloods apothecary. The apothecary was soon to have far more to deal with than he could handle, however... The Sharks took possession of the ball and caged on the Bloods' goal line, running down the clock. Shortly after, dragon warrior Guderian was tripped up by beastman Rend, falling hard on his face and lying motionless... he was rolled over by the apothecary to reveal sighless staring eyes; Guderian was stone dead. With the entire strength of the Bloods prone, Commander AresMars elected to keep them down to prevent any further needless loss of life, the half ending with beastman Trogdor stepping into the end zone to score. The second half was to prove no better for the Bloods, as in the first minutes line-elf Xerxes tripped trying to dodge away from the line of scrimmage and brained himself on a sharp rock, dying instantly. As the half progressed and the Sharks drove inexorably towards the end zone, lion warrior Charles went down badly hurt, and then, at the midpoint of the half, line-elf Hannibal was blindsided by Rend and mortally wounded, gored by the beastman's horns.  Seocnds later, thrower Wellington went down with a fractured leg after a vicious block by chaos warrior Anger Shark as beastman Khrom "Da Bomb" Goering ran in to score the second Sharks touchdown. With two more line-elves unconscious, the Bloods could now field only 5 players against the full strength Sharks.  This proved woefully inadequate to stem the tide, and the ball was stolen, remarkably, by rookie ogre Bashdot Orrgh, who lumbered to the end zone to earn a touchdown, the Sharks third, shortly before the final whistle. The Bloods suffered a terrible blow during this game, although Commander AresMars retains still a cadre of his most experienced players, it will be a hard recovery for the beleagured High elves, having suffered 6 dead in 6 games this season [Ed: surpassing even the Halflings!!].
 

Running the Gutters: Flamboyants 2 Howlers 1

The dodgy Rongeurs Flamboyants edged out the bashy Mad Howlers 2-1 Wednesday night in a match that was strangely casualty free, despite the two teams laying into each other with vigor. The Howlers first drive rolled right up to the Flamboyants goal line after considerable fighting that saw the ball change hands several times, but a the Flamboyants took advantage of a dropped pass to clear the ball back to midfield, gutter runner Dilate la Rate picking up the ball and outstripping any possible pursuit to score for the Flamboyants late in the half. The two teams clashed without effect beofre the halftime whistle, there being insufficient time for a scoring play. In the second half, a bad pass led to the Flamboyants losing the ball to the Howlers, the nimble Skullcrakk racing down field in an unstoppable breakaway, scoring at the midpoint in the half. The gutter runners won the day for the Flamboyants as the Skaven received and after a brief struggle broke through on the wide zone, rookie gutter runner Came Rat scoring the winning touchdown. The Howlers were unable to generate a scoring opportunity in the final minutes, thus clinching a Flamboyants victory.
 

Drinking on the Job: Boozzhounds 3 Harem 0

The majority of the cabalvision replay of the Putrid Swamp Boozzhounds vs Harem match was tragically lost in a bizarre gardening accident, but what was left does reveal the third of three Boozzhounds touchdowns, the Orcs robbing the Amazons of the ball shortly after their drive commenced, lineorc Jaime Zone running in to score late in the half with the bulk of the Harem surrounded and immobilized by their Orc opponents. With the final score a solid 3-0 victory for the Boozzhounds, the final play serves as a microcosm of the game in general, the Harem unable to generate a scoring opportunity. The Boozzhounds move into third place in Frog conference with the victory.
 

Whistle While You Wok: Dicers 1 Divas 0

In more Orc-on-Zon action, the Slicers and Bad Dicers eked out a 1-0 victory over the Lustria Divas before a huge 92,000 strong crowd. The first half was a fragmented melee between the receiving Divas and the defending Dicers, the Divas nearly scoring after considerable tribulation, but the Dicers managed to stop the play and clear the ball back to centerfield before the halftime whistle blew on a scoreless first half. The second half was equally confused, but more painful for the Divas as linewoman Terry went down with a damaged back. The Divas smothered the Dicers play and stole the ball, linewoman Xena 3.0 fading back towards her own end zone, but attrition started to weigh heavily on the Divas, blitzer Trish and linewoman Torrie Wilson getting badly hurt. Xena 3.0 tried to move the ball up but tripped on a tuft of sod and stunned herself, resulting in the Dicers regaining the ball, and after some difficulty blitzer Jumbo Shrimp managed to score the match's only touchdown shortly before the end of regulation time. The Divas could not get another scoring opportunity before the final whistle, making the Dicers 1-0 victory official. The Divas remain the most injury prone team in the league, with nine niggling injuries on their current roster.
 

Videos Still Have Punch: Videos 3 Smashers 2

The Straight to Videos, coming off their disastrous round 5 game, took the field against the Drakehead Smashers on Thursday night, narrowly beating them 3-2. The fast paced play resulted in skink Godspeed picking up a touchdown early in the half, and the Smashers maintained pressure by blitzing the Videos offence on the next drive. A fierce scrum developed around the ball (line-elf "If you value your life, be somewhere else..." suffering a pinched nerve), skink Goddamnyou breaking away to almost score, tripping and falling on the goal line. The ball went into the crowd and came back in at center field, where the Videos were able to easily turn the play around, wardancer "These go to Eleven" scoring a tying touchdown. In the second half, both teams short handed, the Videos received, narrowly recovering the ball after a Smashers attempt to steal, catcher "I love when a plan comes together" receiving the hand-off and blitzing his way deep into the Smashers' back field to score despite briefly losing the ball to a Smashers' safety play.  The Smashers drove back with a vengeance, badly hurting two line-elves and breaking up the wide zone in force, rapidly scoring their own tying touchdown at the middle of the half. Now down by two players, the Videos received and drove deep, the Smashers callenging the drive just short of their end zone. the play seesawed back and forth across the pitch, until the Videos, having regained control, found themselves locked behind a wall of Smashers with the time ticking away. "These go to Eleven" leapt out of the scrimmage to head for the end zone, line-elf "Royale with Cheese" recovering a fumbled pass by "I love it when a plan comes together", nipping forward to complete the pass to "These go to Eleven" who spiked the ball in the Smashers end zone for the winning touchdown, less than a minute left on the clock.  An impressive game and a vindication for a team who had suffered so greatly the match before...
 

Sonics Streak to 3 in a Row: Sonics 3 March 0

The Sylvan Supersonics won their 3rd straight match, this time most significantly against the 1st place Funeral March. A tremendous crowd of 81,000 were on hand to witness the victory, which pushed into second place in Dragon Conference. The Sonics, who had just hired wardancer Wild Woody and had recruited a second wardancer from amongst their fans for the match, were off to rough start as the March attacked their inadvisable forward defence, putting line-elf Leafygreens out with a fractured arm. The nimble elves recovered quickly though, punishing the March for inadequately protecting their ball carrier, stealing the ball and driving back to centerfield where the blitzer of the March stripped the ball from Orgopher, ultimately pushing him into the crowd. The two teams contested the ball, Wild Woody proving his worth as he cleared the scrum with the ball and headed for the end zone, brushing off pursuing blitzer Unholy Hooker to score. In the waning minutes of the first half, the Sonics came through again, recovering their own kick after a failed block by black orc Big Hurt opened the way, Wild Woody scoring the touchdown after again shutting down Unholy Hooker. The 2nd half Sonics reception resulted in flawless drive into the end zone, Orgopher picking up the credit for the third touchdown. The March drove back, now playing hopeless catch-up, but lost the ball before the line of scrimmage, resulting in a loose struggle for the ball. Catcher Greenwood the Great was forced into the stands by Unholy Hooker where he suffered a pinched nerve at the hands of the fans before being rescued. Neither team made any further progress with the ball, and the final whistle blew on a 3-0 Sonics clean sweep.
 

Brawlin' Goblins: Flicks 1 Zone 1

The stunty Picken Flicks took on the undead Dead Zone in the last of the 5th round match ups, grinding to a 1-1 stalemate. The Flicks had hired Bomber Dribblesnot for the match, but the lunatic bomber was knocked down and out of the match with broken ribs before he could even light the fuse of his first bomb. Despite the pressure applied by the Zone, the Flicks nevertheless managed to get a running play going, goblin Marc zipping along the wide zone to put the Flicks on the scoreboard early. The Undead drove back in an seemingly unstoppable wall of rotting flesh... the Flicks did their best to impede the advance, but with goblins dropping like flies they ultimately could not prevent ghoul Viper form running into the end zone to score a tying touchdown. At the start of the second half, the troll Nadia tested out her throwing arm (and successfully curbed her appetite), lobbing goblin Bruno deep into Zone territory, Bruno landing safely and scurrying for the end zone... but the Zone were on the ball and Bruno was caught just shy of the goal line and knocked unconscious by Viper. The Zone then formed a solid mass, but it's sheer unwieldiness slowed their advance across the pitch to a mere crawl, never even crossing the line of scrimmage, despite the fact that the Flicks were reduced to 1 troll and 4 goblins on pitch by the end. The final whistle blew just as the Flicks amazingly managed to steal the ball away from their opponents, but with no time left to score, a draw game was assured.
 

Bloodpie Ascendant: Bakers 2 Cadavers 1

With a healthy 72,000 strong crowd of fans in attendance, the Bloodpie Bakers defeated the powerful Nipply Cadavers in a hamfisted brawl of a game. The Bakers first drive stalled temporarily in the Cadavers half, but recovered before the Cadavers could clear the ball out, hobgoblin Pastry Boy scoring late in the half. The two teams traded punches for the remainder of the time before the halftime whistle. Receiving in the second the Cadavers drove back hard, scoring in the early stages of the second, Spitunias "Gummy Chunks" Snees getting the touchdown after his teammates laucnhed hobgoblin The Steak into the crowd where he was killed by a mob of Cadavers fans. With half the time remaining in the 2nd, the Bakers received and drove back, successively knocking out 4 Cadavers, Pastry Boy picking up a second touchdown before the final whistle, ending the game a 2-1 Bakers victory. 
 

Conspiracy Theories: Noskull's Corner Reveals All

Llukson Lhoreir, ninja stealth-elf reporter extraordinaire has compiled a shocking exposé of the tangled web of  politics and conspiracy that pervades the DragonBBL world. Check it out you will be shocked, awed, and amazed...
 

Press Release: Zombie Ori-oh Wears #6 Again
Brimstone Mausoleum - Home of the Brimstone Bonestealers

"I think it's great to honour this tradition. I'm happy to be rid of... er, to donate number 6 to Ori-oh. I look forward to seeing the effects on our new lineup, especially while wearing a different jersey."
 

Drunken Style: Blighters 3 Mates 2
Coach Plaguelord Puswort, Blue Blighters

Tweakin' and a-Fixin': JavaBowl 7.0a Released!

JavaBowl 7.0a has followed hard on the heels of the 7.0 release and can be obtained in the downloads section...

• Ver A: Fixes the displaying of custom player pics.
• Ver A: Fixes WILD ANIMAL having to roll new wild animal roll to unstun when the LRB WILD ANIMAL option is unchecked.

The 7.0a full install replaces the 7.0 full install.
 

The Week in Review: Wednesday Dec. 3rd - Saturday Dec. 6th

Bash vs Dodge: Surly 2 Paladins 2

The Short and Surly and the Avelorn Paladins battled their way to a 2-2 draw on Thursday. The receiving Paladins had a rocky first drive, conducting a somewhat dislocated passing play which resulted in the Surly bull centaur Hoofgrinder nearly running away with the ball, the Paladins making a narrow recovery with a dangerous blitz by Greyeagle, Alex Hapsburg reclaiming the ball and delivering it to M.K. Klaw for the first touchdown. The Surly utilized the return drive to grind forward in an attempt to attrition their way to victory, with the Paladins minimizing contact and pulling back by degrees... it was not enough, however, as 3 Elves were carried off unconscious and one line-elf, The Farzan, out for the game, Surly hobgoblin Fucker scoring a tying touchdown in the final seconds of the half. The Surly received in the second and drove steadily up the field in a loose cage, challenged repeatedly by the Paladins. The stoild Surly managed to retain control, however, Fucker scoring a second touchdown late in the game after the remaining Paladins defence was swept aside and stunned. The paladins used well the time remaining to them, receiving and executing a running play with a perfect cage, M. K. Klaw scoring his own second touchdown to tie the game at the final score of 2-2.
 

Avanti, Forza!! Machine 4 Barnacles 0

The Frog Machine scored their 3rd season victory with a dramatic 4-0 shutout over the Blistering Barnacles. With the Barnacles receiving first, the Machine nevertheless managed to contain their first drive, a confused scrum working to the Skaven advantage, the ball changing hands several times until skink Nefarious Ned got a clean breakaway, unfortunately tripping up in his excitement mere yards from the end zone and rendering himself unconscious, joining two other skinks KO'd and one badly hurt from the melee in the Barnacles dugout. It was all downhill from there as the Machine claimed the loose ball and drove back across the field, Skratsquick Terzo receiving the handoff to score. Though time in the half was running out, a failed pickup by skink Stil Slitherin gave the Machine the chance they needed, Skratsquick picking up a lightning.fast touchdown. Receiving in the second, the Machine drive was temporarily in doubt as linerat Viskrin Novo could not get a handle on the ball, but despite considerable pressure from the Barnacles the Machine recovered, league speed record-holder Skrittar Quarzo receiving a hand off and sprinting to the Barnacles end zone to score. With little hope of playing catch-up successfully, the Barnacles drove back, unfortunately losing the ball as skink Sqwerman Norman went down, stunned, after a failed dodge, and Skratsquick once again received the handoff, sprinting into to score for a personal hat trick and the fourth Machine touchdown. With almost half the the time remaining in the second, the Barnacles received once more and drove forward, bent on vengeance.  As the Machine moved into smother the drive, that vengeance was realized, as saurus Stuart Runin delivered a fatal swipe with a scaly fist that crushed the throat of veteran storm vermin Gnawdoom Segundo [Ed: A veteran of 21 games and a member of the organization since the team's inception, he took 34 SPPs to the grave with him] who was pronounced dead on the scene by the team apothecary and dumped reverentially into an open sewer. As the shock wore off, the Barnacles' skink Lerkin Sneek executed a clean breakaway, but touchdown hopes were foiled when he tripped in exactly the same spot as his predecessor. A struggle for the ball dominated the remaining minutes, the Machine (reduced to only six on the field by attrition) narrowly staving off a barnacles scoring opportunity before the final whistle put an end to the game.
 

The Bruised Flesh: Steins 3 Flesh 0

The Frothy Steins narrowly rose to first place in Dragon Conference with a 3-0 victory over the last place Creeping Flesh in front of a huge crowd of 101,000 fans. The Flesh, short one mummy, simply could not compete with the grinding attrition tactics of the Steins. The Flesh defensive line spent most of their time getting up off the ground in the first drive, although still managing to give the Steins brief pause near the end zone before HarryPalms scored the first touchdown. The two teams brawled at the line of scrimmage for the rest of the half, troll slayer Ooglie suffering a serious concussion at the hands of mummy Soft and Squishy, and zombie out with a concussion of his own before a failed leap by Deranged sent the ball flying into the crowd, effectively ending the first half. The Flesh 2nd half drive quickly bogged down at the line of scrimmage, and the the Flesh went down like ninepins before the stolid Dwarven defenders, losing six players in the space of just a few minutes to various injuries (including ghoul Disturbed out with a groin sprain), Steins understudy runner Bumpy stealing the ball and scoring the second touchdown at the midpoint of the half. Fielding only eight against the Steins eleven, the demoralized Flesh fumbled the reception, and the Steins stormed across the line of scirmmage, Bumpy again stealing the ball to score with a few minutes to go, bringing the score to the final 3-0.
 

Goin' For Soda: Killers 3 Hunt 1

The climactic game after a week of trash talk and recrimination occurred between the first place Mass Killers and the Wild Hunt. With Sceolan not dressing for the game due to an arthritic flare up, coach Skarloc's primary objective for the match seemed to be to preserve his roster in the face of the heavy hitting Killers, who's players have been slowly sprouting over time an assortment of mutated claws, talons, and spikes seemingly purpose designed for the evisceration of Wood Elves. The Killers received first, flattening the Hunt line of scrimmage and trying repeatedly to advance into contact with the Hunt defence who kept retreating out of reach. A side effect of this conservative startegy was that beastman PowerCollin was able to score unchallenged at the middle of the half as the Hunt defence was slowly herded into one corner of the field. The Hunt received the next kick and exploited the Killers complete lack of defence depth, a plan which would have undoubtedly worked were is not for a passing error which saw line-elf Toldea carried off badly hurt and the Killers once again in solid possession.  The remainder of the half was a repeat of the frist drive, with the Hunt backing off doing little to prevent beastman Ben Laden from scoring. With only a few minutes remaining the Hunt sent the wardancers deep again, but the result was Wethylwych badly hurt, and Wychwethyl failing to pick up the ball in the Killers' end zone just before the halftime whistle. In the seocnd half the Hunt received and made their third scoring effort... the third time was a charm as the offence progressed up the wild zone after ogre Paul Pot was knocked unconscious. A wall of Killers necessitated a reverse play, but safety Sara Fat put an end to that attempt, sending the ball into the crowd. The Hunt's fans were in strong attendance however, and the ball was passed directly to line-elf Otsea, who promptly ran up the wide zone, the Killers attempt to smother unsuccessful as Otsea blitzed to the end zone to score for the Hunt. With ample time the Killers received and caged up, the Hunt making absolutely no attempt to stop them. With the Hunt in full retreat and the Killers in pursuit, the clock ran down and beastman Jack the Ripper scored the 3rd Killers touchdown with a few seconds remaining on the clock..
 

Norse Hardball: Vikings 3 Shorty 0

The Screaming Vikings barely kept their lead in Frog Conference Division C action with a 3-0 win over the labouring Get Shorty. Despite a promising opening drive, the Shorty suffered quickly at the hand of the aggressive Vikings, whose counterattack knocked out two Shortys and badly hurt a third. The Vikings claimed possession of the ball after knocking it loose at the line of scrimmage, catcher Catchlaballson scoring at the middle of the half. The slide downhill continued for the Shorty on the next drive, as minotaur Munchkin knocked himself over, allowing blitzer Riplagorgseson to charge in and knock bull centaur Fritz to the ground, stealing the ball and dashing to the end zone to score in the final moments of the half. The Vikings received in the second and ploughed forward against the understrength Shorty, catcher Runforrestrunson making the score 3-0 early in the half. A failed pass on the next drive put the ball in jeopardy, but the bull centaurs of the Shorty teamed up to reclaim it, the Shorty making their first solid push into Vikings territory during the game. In the ensuing melee, Fritz lost the ball after three Vikings dragged him down, but hobgoblin Nog spectacularly recovered the ball to make a clean breakaway, only to slip on a banana peel within spitting distance of the goal line. With time running out, a last ditch Vikings attempt to turn the play around failed with a fumbled pass, meanwhile ogre NogNogUzDer charged Munchkin, knocking him on his back and putting him out with a fractured leg. Hobgoblin Nog picked himself up for one last attempt to score, retrieving the ball but then tripped up trying to dodge away from Catchlaballson, and with the Vikings playing safety the game ended a 3-0 Vikings victory.
 

Heavy Breathing: March 1 Cadavers 0

64,000 fans witnessed the standup, knockdown, drag-out brawl between the Funeral March and the Nipply Cadavers, the March eking out a 1-0 victory. The two teams battled hard from the start, the receiving Cadavers losing considerable star power for the game as Cewlips "Fresh Flesh" Spurtz broke six ribs after a nasty fall in the opening minutes of the game. As the brawl see-sawed back and forth, the March stole possession of the ball after another ghoul took a spill, thrower Golden Arm running to the Cadavers's end zone, and running down the clock to score shortly before the conclusion of the half. Receiving in the second, the March's drive was considerably delayed by a riot in the stands, although once it did get going the Cadavers did a good job of stymieing their advance depsite mounting losses (four KOs and 1 badly hurt), the ball changing hands twice with the Cadavers in final possession as the clock dwindled to nothing. The Funeral March's victory keeps them solidly in place at the head of Dragon Conference.
 

A Whole New Version: JavaBowl 7.0 Released!

JavaBowl 7.0 has made it's appearance. There is no incremental patch from 6.Xx to 7.0, so you will have to install afresh.  The full 7.0 version can now be obtained in the downloads section...

• Adds support for the Rules Review (RR) changes for the Rune Smith. On by default. See section "51. Wizards" in the readme.txt file to see how they work.
• Added on pitch team logos with the "Draw Team Logos". Each race can have a default team icon specified. Included with the download are default team logos and ini entries for most of the teams. You can also specify a team specific logo in your html roster that will override the race default. This will be downloaded just like player pics to your opponent. See the readme.txt file section 53. "Draw Team Logos" for details.
• Added some new wood elf, chaos warrior, and ghoul icons.
• This is not a patch. It is a full install. So don't copy it over your 6.x install. Create a new install.

For DragonBBL play, uncheck the LRB Runesmith option along with the rest of the rules-review related changes.
 

Ori-Oh Plays for Both Sides: Bonestealers 2 Surly 0
Coach Nygrell Grimskull, Brimstone Bonestealers