Internecine Strife: Howlers 1 March 1
Bunky Dragoncharmer, Cabalvision Sports

Good afternoon Bloodbowl fans and welcome to the home opener of the Funeral March. The Dirgedome was roaring as 71000 fans joined me on this beautiful afternoon. In a cross conference match up, the home town Funeral March faced off against Blarg Blargson and his Mad Howlers in an exciting, to the finish Orkish brawl. The first loud noise of the morning came as Blargson took the pitch and noticed famed veteran and axe for hire Varag Ghoul-chewer warming up by the March's dugout. Blargsons nostrils flared and he shook his fist at coach Macon who smiled and waved back.

The Howlers won the toss and opted to receive. The kick went deep on the left side and thrower Hartzblud fell back to recover. Blargson had opted to leave team captain and star thrower Blackheart on the bench. At the line two waves of green flesh slammed into each other, the March's roars mingled with the Howlers trademark "Waaargh!!". The bodies started flying. Blitzer Krotchkik tried to slip away from rookie Troll Greasy Hair but slipped and fell to the ground. As he fell, he left his linemate Throatrip to fend for himself and Throatrip fell prey to a vicious head butt by March blocker Mad Basher, the Howler left badly hurt and unable to continue the match which had barely begun. Varag wasted no time in letting his presence be felt on the pitch, charging into Howler blocker Bonecrusha and stunning him as he raced towards the ball. Several March players charged in behind him, breaking the Howlers line.

Hartblud dashed over, unfazed by the advancing Orkish horde. Snapping up the ball he fired a long bomb across the pitch and straight into the arms of Blitzer Skullcrakk at the line. The Orks near Skullcrakk leapt into action and lineork Gazbagg threw himself into Gruumsh, the March lineork spinning wildly before slamming to the grass with a heavy thud and staying there until apothecaries could carry him to safety. Skullcrakk stayed close to his two team mates, unwilling to try a desperate break down the right side. The March doubled back and swung down, cutting off the small Orkish party while Unholy Hooker slammed into Skullcrakk stripping the ball from the Blitzer and shoving him into his friends along the right edge. Blocker Nekkcrakka could not contain himself and gingerly shoved the frenzied March Blitzer off the pitch. The fans backed away very quickly and Hooker returned to the dugout unharmed.

Skullcrakk stepped in, grabbed the ball and retreated behind his team mates. More March players left the centre brawl to lend a hand on the right side. Varag charged into the melee with abandon. Skullcrakk, faded back towards the centre, handed off to Heartblud who ran up towards the left side and fired a short pass to Spleenlik. Sending him racing down the left side while his team mates tried to tie up the March defenders.

The March broke free however, Varag knocking veteran lineork Gazbagg unconscious while Dim Witted and Hard Hitter chased down the Howler ball carrier and slammed into him in tandem. The ball and the Howler fell at their feet. With only 1 Howler near the ball and he on his back, Blargson could be heard ranting at his squad. The Howlers let out another stadium rattling "Waaargh!!" and redoubled their efforts to kill the other team. Krotchkik applied a flying double kick to lineork Six-Fingers and the March player proved unable to get back to his feet without assistance. Apothecaries carried him off field.

March Blitzer Dim Witted recovered the ball and headed for the center of the March territory under cover of blocker Mister Universe. The March tried to break through the line on the right but met with Howler resistance who held them there long enough for Blitzer Krotchkik to catch up with Dim Witted and send him flying along with the ball. The Blitzer landed a few feet away, the ball landed a little further, between two Howler blockers. At the other end of the pitch, Howler Spleenlik broke from his cover and raced off into the March in zone as thrower Hartzblud dodged in among the blockers and tried to recover the ball and fire a pass to score. A key ingredient to picking up the ball is not kicking it into a group of other players. Hartzblud should have known this but that didn't seem to stop him as the ball bounced wildly away from him, stopping in March territory, between two of their blockers this time. A wild melee ensued and was still going strong as the eighth stone ended and the whistle blew on a scoreless first half.

The Howlers prepared to kick to the March and at the kick suddenly changed their defensive position, trying to cover the field wide. The March caged in around Golden Arm who recovered and tried a straight break down the centre, Varag Ghoul-chewer leading the way. As the Howlers reinforced the centre, the March moved to break down the right side. The Howlers closed in on the right side offense, leaving stunned blitzer Bone Crusher on the pitch, alone, a mistake that would cost the Howlers. The March continued to try and drive down the right side as Bone Crusher got to his feet. Thrower Hartzblud would lose consciousness to a straight arm clothe line from blocker Haunting Nightmare who barely noticed the thrower as he tried to close with Howler blocker Bonecrusha. Sensing an advance to the right side was moving too slowly, Golden Arm faded towards the middle of the field and fire a short pass over the line and into Blitzer Bone Crusher who caught it and raced off unopposed down the left side. Krotchkik broke from the melee and chased down the Blitzer but succeeded only in showing him back a few yards. The March Blitzer responded by backhanding the Howler across the jaw and knocking him to the floor stunned and jogged by him, stopping at the line in an obvious taunt to the Howlers. Blargson went mad and shouted across the field to coach Marcon.

"WHAT?!? You treat me like an elf?!? KEEEEEEEL HEEEEEM!!! KEEEEEEEEEL THEM ALLLL!!!!" while gesturing frantically and jumping up and down.
Coach Marcon who still could hear nothing on account of the funeral band playing on top of the dugout, smiled and waved back at Blargson. A second Howler broke from the melee and started to head towards the taunting March Blitzer who opted not to wait to see what Spleenlik wanted to tell him and stepped over the line to put the March in the lead 1-0.

The Howlers set up favoring the left side heavily and were surprised by a March blitz at the kick. As the ball sailed towards the center of the Howlers zone, so did the March. Varag Ghoulchewer laced into Skullcrakk stunning him as several March players closed in around captain Blackheart who had taken the field when Hartzblud failed to be revived in time. Blackheart however would not be easily shaken and ordered a full left charge. Bonecrusha looked up to see Ghoul-Chewer before him and slammed the freebooter in the face with a two fisted hammer strike, following up by stomping on the fallen Blitzers hand, smashing it. Ghoul-chewers personal apothecaries rushed out and carried the Star off the field, dodging through a sea of berserk Howlers to do so. I doubt they get paid enough.

Blackheart stepped away from the advancing March blitz, picked up the ball and moved forward, firing a short pass to Krotchkik who found himself in a cage of Howlers along the left side. With the 7th stone ticking away, Dim Witted and Unholy Hooker fell back to cover the line and halt the Howlers, shoving the Blitzer to the right edge and stripping the ball which went flying to the middle of the March territory. Caught up in the frenzy, Unholy Hooker tried to follow through and shove the Howler off the pitch but tripped and lost consciousness with the resulting impact.

At the 8th stone, Gazbagg blitzed Dim Witted, freeing up Krotchkik to break for the in zone as captain Blackheart raced to the ball, snapped it up and fired a short pass to the Blitzer who caught it at the whistle and the crowd gasped as the scoreboard told the tale: Funeral March 1- Mad Howlers 1.

We caught up with coach Marcon after the game who had these words to say:

"Great game! We had a lot of fun! Big thanks to Varag who was vacationing near the Purple Swamp and decided to join us for our opener, sorry about his hand. I'm pretty sure Blargson had fun, I saw him dancing along to our orchestra several times during the game. He's a great bloodbowl coach but with all due respect, he's lacking a little in the rhythm department. I wish him luck for the upcoming season, we've already agreed, we'll meet again in the Finals."

For Cabalvision sports, this is Bunky Dragoncharmer, pitchside.
 

Entropy Lays Down the Law: Lords 3 Marauders 0
Bunky Dragoncharmer, Cabalvision Sports

Good afternoon Bloodbowl fans and welcome to the Bloodbowl debut of coach Aceti's Lords of Entropy who today will be defending their territory against Octa and his fledgling Marauders.

It's a beautiful afternoon and the beastmen don't look happy about it. Aceti wins the toss and opts to kick. You can feel the excitement in the air as both teams prepare to begin their first game. The Lords kick and it's a quick snap for the Marauders as they perform on the fly adjustments to their offensive positioning.

The kick lands midfield down the right side and the Marauders line begins to push it's way into the Lords zone. Sadly, in this early push, lineman Bart tangles horns with beastman Iodo Quinol; but, with only one of them having horns, Bart find himself thrown to the ground.

Using the break in momentum Aceti orders his beastmen on the attack and they punch a hole through the Marauder line and try to close in on the ball. Meanwhile at the line Tetra Cycline charges into Blitzer Cletus; but Cletus, with his years of experience roping cattle and errr, other things, executes a rolling throw and with a sickening "crack!" Tetra Cycline is upended and send sprawling to the green as the home town crowd cheers the violence, even against one of their own.

We're told it looks serious and Tetra's back may act up in future games. The Marauders try to shift the momentum again but catcher Jake trips dodging away from a beastman and end the hopes of a Marauder recovery.

The Lords waste no time in pressing on and beastman Bacilius Globulii recovers the ball in Marauder territory. The Marauders turn around and perform a reinforced charge into their own zone, knocking Bacilius onto his rump and sending the ball flying and landing firmly into beastman Rhodo Blastus's hands. The Lords make a move for the in zone and in the violence, Marauder Bart is knocked unconscious. As Rhodo tries to slip past thrower Drew who had earlier sent Bacilius flying, he is tripped and both he and the ball slam wildly into the pitch! Drew moves to recover but gets tripped up in Rhodo's fallen mass and the ball once again bounces wildly around the Marauder zone. The Marauders realizing haste is not their ally, carefully surround the ball as the 4th stone comes to an end.

The Marauders try to break through this new line of Entropic defense but their efforts are in vain and on the 5th stone beastman Acito Menophen snakes up the ball and charges across the zone line as the crowd goes wild!!

The Lords set up to kick to the Marauders and as the ball soars high in the sky, one of the hometown crowd launches a well placed stone which slams into the side of Garth's head and knocks him unconscious as the kick lands in the middle of the zone. The Marauders break through the line and catchers race to get into position as thrower Drew recovers and advances behind some of his team mates. The Lords slam into the center Marauders and close with Drew who, unfazed, dodges right and runs to the line where a short throw to catcher Jake launches him into the Lords side of the pitch.

The Lords were unprepared but beastman Iodo performs a daring sacrifice throw on Jake sending both players flying to the ground and knocking the ball lose as the 8th stone looms closer. Lineman John, knowing the situation is critical, throws himself headfirst into the beastman in the way and sends him roughly to the pitch. With the path clear, Octa begins shouting at catcher Jim who is standing nearby: "RUN!! RUN!!" and Jim, pumped full of adrenalin and ready to please, dodges left around the ball and runs into the Lords in zone only to hear lineman John screaming at him he'd wanted him to actually pick UP the ball. The magnitude of his error is sinking in as the whistle blows, ending the first half with the Lords in the lead 1-0.

The second half starts with the hometown fans taunting the Marauders who are setting to kick. The kick goes wide and lands off field. Lords touch back and charge into the Marauders line. A violent brawl erupts at the line and beastman Diplo Calyx is knocked unconscious by a textbook crotch punt. The brawl rages on when suddenly Bacilus Globulii emerges from the melee with the ball and races away from the fight and towards the Marauders line!

Jake and Karl also emerge from the melee and they chase the beastman down and double team him, knocking the ball lose yards from the Marauders goal line. Outnumbered and spread out, the Lords press the attack. Drew falls prey to a solid strike by Phenolph Thalien and the human thrower is being carried off the field badly hurt. Ator Vastatin breaks from the melee and runs to the aid of Bacilus, clearing the path for the beastman to jump to his hoofs, recover the ball and throw himself into the Marauders zone. Lords two, Marauders zero.

With 5 stones remaining, the Lords kick to the Marauders again. The Marauders execute another quick snap and modify their offensive strategy, favoring the right side. The Marauders wail into the right side, sending the chaos defenders flying in all directions!! Thrower Carl moves to recover but Noooo!!! He's unable to recover the ball which slipped away from his grasp.

Those few Lords left standing ignore the melee and break out, charging the thrower and knocking him to the pitch in a puff of dust. The Marauders, committed to a strike into Entropy territory, try to double back but can't break free of the beastmen they are meleeing. Beastman Ator Vastatin has knocked himself unconscious trying to escape lineman Harry!! Harry eager to replicate the awesome stunt, tries to break away from Vario Vorax and down he goes!! Looks like he gouged his eye on the beastmans horn as he fell!! That's gotta smart folks!!

Unwilling to let the brawl rage any further, Iodo sweeps in, recovers the ball and dives over the line!! Lords now lead 3-0!!!

With three stones left, the Lords kick and the Marauders fans let lose with a whoop so loud the stadium seems to quake. Bolstered by their fans, the Marauders commit themselves to getting onto the board. As the kick sails into the air, Vario Vorax is savagely Blitzed by Phil and suffers a concussion!! With seven Lords left on the pitch and a 3 man advantage, the Marauders make a push down the center. The Lords ignore the charge and send token resistance in to disturb the Marauder advance while a pair of beastmen are dispatched to sack the thrower and sack him they do!! With the Marauders once against committed to a deep offense, it's up to thrower Carl to dodge in, recover the ball and break free to fire a pass to Jim!! Jim makes the reception, and, eager to redeem himself, tears downfield like a man being chased by beastmen, which he isn't, Carl having caught the Lords by surprise.

Jim would looks unwilling to pace himself! He's losing it!! He's looooosing…HE TRIPPED!!! The overzealous rookie has pushed himself too far!! He's dropped the ball right into the Lords in zone!! So close to breaking the shutout, the whistle blows and the scoreboard lays all facts bare. Lords of Entropy 3, Marauders 0.

For Cabal Vision sports, this is Bunky Dragoncharmer, pitch side.
 

Kickoff!! Season III Underway

The season opener got off to a bloody start on Thursday afternoon as the Frog Machine won a pyrrhic 3-2 victory over the Blood Drakkar. The Machine got off to a rocky start as veteran kicker Hakflem Dodezimo was mortally injured by a viscious cross-check from the Drakkar's new enforcer Oggie Oggilthorpe, who went on to have a banner game, badly hurting two other Skaven. Some fast maneuvering by the Machine saw them take a 2-1 lead by the middle of the 2nd half, but further tragedy awaited as rat ogre Rendflesh Salivar was blindsided by a frenzied attack by Knut Polygraf. The attacked pushed the mighty rat ogre back, putting him off balance, and crashing him to the ground. When the apothecaries got to him they realized he was stone dead. With the ensuing drive tying up the game once more, the skills of Skrittar Quarzo were put to good use, and the speedy gutter runner raced through a narrow hole in the Drakkar defence to score the game winning touchdown with seconds to spare. With a total of 9 casualties including 2 deaths on the Machine side, celebration of the victory was somewhat muted...

In more Division A action this weekend, the Soapy Cup champions Slicers and Bad Dicers got their season off on a positive note, defeating the Brimstone Bonestealers 2-1, whose fortunes seem to be in decline since their tremendous first season performance. The Dicers were able to stay on top of their grisly opponents after black orc blocker ShagHigh Beef made his 2nd career interception on a Stealers' pass. A close game by all accounts, but the final Dicers drive to score the winning touchdown could not be stopped.

The Short & Surly managed to hold the Rongeurs Flamboyants to a 1-1 draw in the up and coming Skaven team's first Division A game. The action was fast and furious as the Rongeurs gutter runner Came Rat put in an early touchdown and hung on to their 1-0 lead despite mounting casualties narrowly missing scoring a second touchdown after turning over the subsequent Surly drive.  The Surly juggernaut was unstoppable in the 2nd half, however, and hobgoblin Fucker was escorted into the end zone to finally tie the game 1-1.

A total of 302,000 fans attended the three A Division games.
 

The season opener for B Division saw a brutal grudge match play out as the Noir Desir won an expensive 2-1 victory over the Bloodpie Bakers. The Desir's traditional dirty play was counter-balanced by the hard-hitting Chaos Dwarves, and although the Desir came out on top score-wise, they suffered 6 casualties including 4 serious injuries (star witch elf Angela del Meurta amongst them), putting them on weak footing for their game against the Banner Guard Bloods next week. The Bakers came off much lighter with only bull centaur Blood Shot having to recover from a nasty gouged eye.
 

There was a flurry of C Division games on the weekend as the brand new teams kicked off their first season. The Dirty Bastards proved their worth with a 2-0 victory over the Thundering Typhoons, seriously injuring three of the Typhoon's players in a violence filled match that highlighted the extreme hatred shared between High Elves and Chaos Dwarves. Hobgoblin Baccala debuted with two touchdowns.

The Deadmen Duo + Band got off to a good start with a 1-0 victory against the Valkyrie High Schoolgirls.  The Necromantic team played a solid game against the wildly dodging Amazons, werewolf Hanz scoring the winning touchdown during the first half, with neither team able to follow through on any further scoring attempts. Coach Doc Hott's new Necromantic venture seems to have a little more promise than Season II's ill-starred Chaos Dwarf Get Shorty.

The bewildering Syzygy Oxymorons defeated the Avenging Mutants 1-0 in a hard fought Dwarf vs Chaos slugfest. With runner Gingantor the Brief out with a smashed hand as the game progressed, blitzer Infinite Voidness had to take over Oxymoron ball carrying duties, managing to score a touchdown late in the 2nd to which the Mutants had no response.

The Human Boy Toys gave the Elven Durenguard Bombers a 2-1 whupping, demoralizing and severely hurting the rookie elf team by killing their starting catcher Dreampacer just before the middle of the first half. The Boys physically dominated the 2nd half, tying up the more nimble Bombers in a midfield skirmish that allowed blitzer Broad Shoulders to make an unopposed break for the end zone to score the winning touchdown late in the game.

More laurels for Human teams as the Bloom County DeathTongues defeated the Dark Elven Darkness 2-1.  The victory came at some cost to the Tongues, with lineman Milo being killed by a palm strike to the face less than a minute from the initial kickoff.  Despite the loss, the Tongue managed to get one up on the Darkness, ending the game in their favour.
 

No Fooling! Season III Begins

It's time folks! The schedules and rosters are posted, and the pitches have been swept, raked, and re-sodded. The expectant hum of the opening day crowd vibrates in the air.  They want Blood!!  They want Drama!!  They want Heros of the Gridiron!!  GIVE IT TO THEM!!!

A few notes about the new season: Rosters can now be accessed by clicking on the team names on the standings page. Please note also the Bookie and Loanshark links in the navigation bar... Should you find yourself in dire financial straits, these unique resources may be the key for you to get over your rough patch.  Use them wisely!

All team management must be done through the commissioner, who can be reached at admin@soapyfrog.net. Please direct all purchase, skill addition, name/position change requests to him, and your team roster will be updated as soon as possible. In a pinch you can manually edit your team roster yourself, but please remember to notify the commish of those changes so that they can be officially entered onto your online roster.  This includes freebooting and wizard hiring, which should be mentioned when you send in your match results.

Please note the Announcements in the Scheduling forum, which contain reminders about what you need to do before and after an official league match.  Thank you all, have a great time!
 

Is it Better Than Wripple Nipple Chunk? JavaBowl 7.6 Released

Take the Taste Test! Get it in the downloads section here!

• Added support for star players. If the position is "star player" (any case) then jbb will use the player's name as the lookup key in the icons.ini file. All the official star players have already been added to all the INI files under the [BIG GUYS] section. This will make sure they show up no matter what the team race is on the roster. Thanks to BloodbasherMasher from FUMBBL for making the star player icons and gathers their portraits.
• DIVING TACKLE is a little closer to the official rules. It will only be used if it will make the dodge fail. But BREAK TACKLE throws a wrench in the mix. I assume the decision to use BREAK TACKLE is after the decision to use DIVING TACKLE. So that means the decision to go prone is done without taking BREAK TACKLE into account. You'll just have to live with that case for now. But it is better than before right? J NOTE: There are still other situations where you will use DIVING TACKLE and the other player will get away. You might use DIVING TACKLE, then after the reroll the dodge roll succeeds with the -2. That leaves you on the ground and the dodger continuing on their merry way.
• Fixed DOOM&GLOOM reroll restoration at the end of the first half.
• I AM THE GREATEST! is two random players now, not two selected players.
• Fixed an error where if the last normal move was trapped by tentacles then it was possible to select GFI and try to move again.
• A few more fixes in Bugzilla I can't recall at the moment.

Super Stars and Sawbones: Off Season Activity

Several major players went in for surgery during the off-season, taking advantage of the extended break needed to recover from such major repairs. Short & Surly enforce Agamemnon the Horny was slated for surgery, but reportedly was so disoriented by the anesthetic that he ate the entire surgical team and the assisting warp mage as well, costing the Surly organization 115k gc in damages. A crack surgical team was reportedly unable to located the source of Styg's Mates tough hombre Polly the Cracker Parrot's niggling pain, and Blood Drakkar veteran kicker Erik Bathyscaf died on the operating table under suspicious circumstances.  On a more positive note, Frog Machine team captain Vermek Tredezimo was heard to be recovering well after knee replacement surgery, while Bloodpie Bakers semi-bovine blitzer Blood Shot also benefited from a successful repair of a split hoof, narrowly dodging a one-way ticket to the glue factory. The Slicers and Bad Dicers main offensive tackle Muschi w/Crabs was also seen sorting a new mechanical hip joint which has reportedly returned him to full flexibility.

In other news, four of the leagues top players have terminated their contracts with their respective teams, going free-agent. These players will now be making the freebooting circuit during season III.
 

With the dissolution of the Blistering Barnacles, star skink Lerkin Sneek is making himself available to any Lizardmen teams on the circuit. With 15 touchdowns and 16 completions in DragonBBL play, Lerkin is one of the most versatile players around, his speed and agility an asset to any team that might need his services.
 

DragonBowl Sunday: The Aftermath

The Mass Killers swept to a 3-0 victory against the ailing Creeping Flesh, whose remarkable victories in the quarter and semi final matches had left them short several key players. Most disastrously, mummy Rigor Mortis was suffering from chronic dry-rot, and could not be fielded for the match. Nevertheless the Flesh put up a stellar resistance in the face of a Killers kickoff blitz and mounting casualties, the efforts of Count Luthor von Drakenborg very nearly preventing a Killers touchdown despite overwhelming Killers numerical superiority. With the Flesh decimated by first half play, the Killers solidly dominated the 2nd, scoring two more unanswered touchdowns, clinching the prized DragonBowl. The Killers complete an undefeated 2nd season with the ultimate prize in hand.

The Trophy Awards for A Division are as follows:

DragonBowl: Mass Killers
240,000 gc, +5 FF, 1 Trophy Re-Roll, 10k bonus per match
2nd Prize: Creeping Flesh
100,000 gc, +3 FF

Dragon Conference Trophy: Frog Machine
50,000 gc, +1 FF, 2 bonus MVP
Frog Conference Trophy: Mass Killers
50,000 gc, +1 FF, 2 bonus MVP
 

In a fantastically exciting match, the Slicers and Bad Dicers picked up a narrow 2-1 OT victory over the Rongeurs Flamboyants. The agile Skaven almost dashed the Dicers DragonBowl hopes as they held on to a 1-0 lead until the very last seconds of the 2nd half, gutter runner Dilate la Rate waving through the crowd of towering Orcs and upending ball carrier OrNG "Fuzzy" Duck who was seconds from crossing into the end zone, knocking the ball into the crowd who through it back at the sideline. With defeat looming large as the last seconds ticked away on the clock, the Orcs scrambled to save the situation, lineorc Muschi w/ Crabs sprinting back to retrieve the ball, then hurling it wildly toward the end zone, where it fell short but amazingly bounced across the line and into the arms of waiting Dicers blitzer Hot & Spicy Slut, scoring the tying touchdown and taking the game into overtime.

Overtime almost ended in disaster for the Dicers but for Dilate la Rate, who had stolen the ball yet again and was racing for the end zone, slipping on some fungus beer that had spilled from a flagon that had been flung onto the pitch, stunning himself.  It was all downhill from there as the Dicers took the ball the length of the field, mounting attrition putting an end to any further Rongeur resistance.

Soapy Cup: Slicers and Bad Dicers
120,000 gc, +2 FF, 1 bonus MVP
2nd Prize: Rongeurs Flamboyants
40,000 gc, +1 FF

Dragon Conference Trophy: Slicers and Bad Dicers
50,000 gc, +1 FF, 2 bonus MVP
Frog Conference Trophy: Rongeurs Flamboyants
50,000 gc, +1 FF, 2 bonus MVP
 

In an all-Dark Elf final match, the Noir Desir defeated the Spermosaurs 3-1 clearly winning the battle of attrition by the end of the first half and scoring twice unanswered in the second half. The Desir fouled mercilessly throughout the game, taking every opportunity presented to inflict pain on their opponents, and it was a very battered Spermosaurs squad that made it's way back to the dressing room in defeat at the end of the 2h 15m slugfest. The Desir claim the freshly renamed Grimskull Trophy and look forward to their second season in B Division, while the Spermosaurs brood darkly and bide their time for... revenge...

Grimskull: Noir Desir
50,000 gc, +1 FF
2nd Prize: Spermosaurs
30,000 gc

Dragon Conference Trophy: Bloodpie Bakers
50,000 gc, +1 FF, 2 bonus MVP
Frog Conference Trophy: Noir Desir
50,000 gc, +1 FF, 2 bonus MVP
 

Do You Feel Lucky? Slots Open in B Division

• 220,000 gc cash
• 3 bonus randomly selected MVP awards

For a total value of 25 TR.

All volunteers please post in this thread. From all volunteers, 3 will be randomly selected for the honour of playing in B. Volunteers must step forward by midnight, March 24th to be considered. Step right up!
 

It's Going to Be Elfbowl! Semi-Finals End

The Spermosaurs defeated the Bloodpie Bakers 1-0 after a 3 hour marathon game on Sunday night, ensuring that the two Dark Elf teams of C Division will go face to face for the coveted Wooden Bowl. The match was sparsely attended due to the extreme unpopularity of the Spermosaurs, but this negative energy merely seemed to reinforce the Dark Elves as they went toe to toe with the Chaos Dwarves, shutting down the Bakers offence and pouncing on a late 2nd half opportunity that saw blitzer Terminator score the match's only touchdown.

Only the Finals remain to be played.  The Creeping Flesh will take on the favoured Mass Killers in the fight for the DragonBowl; it'll be Orc vs Skaven as the Slicers and Bad Dicers square off against the Rongeurs Flamboyants for the coveted Soapy Cup; and finally the Dark Elves dominate the field as the Spermosaurs take on the rival Noir Desir for the honour of taking home the Wooden Bowl. See you all on SUPER SATURDAY, March 27th...!!!

[Note: Due to a very poor gate showing at the C Divison All-star match, the league is subsidizing the Wooden Bowl prize to the tune of 40,000 gc]
 

Semi-Final Carnage: Semi-Finals Continue

Saturday night saw the titanic clash between the heavy hitters of Frog Conference, the Mass Killers and the Brimstone Bonestealers. The Killers carried the day with a 2-1 overtime victory after bringing out the big guns, both dreaded ogre star Morg "N" Thorg and vicious Chaos Lord and Agony Uncle, Borak the Despoiler coming out swinging for Chaos. The Bonestealers hired the superlative Count Luthor von Drakenborg, whose performance was unfortunately not up to scratch (too many Halfling-blood cocktails before the match) as he was knocked unconscious late in the 2nd half and insisted on sleeping right through the critical overtime period, showing up in the last 30 seconds of the game to wave triumphantly at the wildly cheering crowd of Killers supporters. The game was a costly one for both teams, the Killers paying out an estimated 170k in fees to the star players, and the Bonestealers suffering a total of 9 casualties, including the death of raised zombies Olaf Cenotaf and Skab Sedizmo and skeleton Twingkle Phalanges, a Stealers' fixture and veteran of 34 games. Thus the reigning champion Bonestealers are laid low and miss their chance to keep their hold on the DragonBowl, while the Killers carve a path of destruction to the DragonBowl final where they will face the Creeping Flesh in a no hold barred clash for the ultimate prize.
 

The two B Division semi-final matches were played out on Thursday night.

The Slicers and Bad Dicers crushed the badly weakened Straight to Videos 4-0, with a mere 45,000 fans in attendance. With only 8 Videos facing off against 14 rabid Orcs, it seemed like an almost certain victory for the Dicers with no less than half of their fans preferring to raid the neighboring countryside (they later learned it was a home game, and had accidentally raided their own homes). The Videos resistance earned then further serious injuries for their efforts, and the Dicers were able to score twice in each half.  The Dicers advance to the Soapy Cup final, while the Videos organization is going on hiatus, with the contract status of several players in doubt...

The Rongeurs Flamboyants squeaked past the Rage Sharks, beating them 1-0 in a nail-biter overtime period. The play see-sawed back and forth across the pitch for two halves, remaining scoreless, both sides taking casualties, but no decisive play could be made. The Rongeurs had pulled out all the stops for this game, hiring Headsplitter for the second game in a row and paying for the services of a warp-mage, but it barely availed them as the match went into overtime. The Rongeurs won the toss however and this time managed to score a touchdown about halfway through OT, then shutting down the Sharks return drive, losing one linerat dead in the process, the rookie Sumatran Rat Monkey, but clinching the win. The Sharks are going on hiatus after the match, Coach Carlo the Despoiler having reportedly been tapped to coach a newly formed Chaos Dwarf team. Coach Phil Vermine takes his Skaven into the Soapy Cup final, where they will face the gourmand Slicers and Bad Dicers. Not a match to miss!
 

The Noir Desir eked out an expensive 2-1 victory over the Dead Zone Sunday morning, narrowly beating the Undead team who were boosted by the presence of Count Luthor von Drakenborg, fresh from the DragonBowl semi-final match..  The Count ultimately could not tip the scales in the Zone's favour, and after a daring play in the 2nd half, the Desir stripped the ball form the Count's hands and stole it away, Toufik Obsessivo scoring the the winning touchdown in the last minute of the game. The Desir paid dearly for their victory, with two vital blitzers seriously injured and likely to miss the Wooden Bowl final match, which will go down against the winner of the Spermosaurs vs Bloodpie Bakers, slated to be played later this evening.
 

Deadline Means DEADLINE: New Teams Must be Submitted by Midnight March 20th

With season III looming, I would ask that all coaches who plan on coaching a new team please submit that team to me before midnight Saturday (that's March 20th folks).  At very minimum I will give a couple of days grace if you at LEAST contact me with the coach name, team name, and race you will be playing. Mail all info to admin@soapyfrog.net.

If all goes well the new season will kick off April 1st (no foolin'!!!)...
 

The Price of Admission: Flesh 2 Steins 0

The dark horse Creeping Flesh raced past the 2nd place Frothy Steins on track to the DragonBowl, beating them solidly 2-0. There was much moaning and screaming amongst the 99,000 fans who turned out to watch the second surprise upset in a row by the hitherto underperforming Flesh. The overconfident Steins were suffering from a shortage of players at the first kickoff, as a group of Steins had decided to get into their victory celebration early down in the team beerhall. With Greybeard still out nursing a fractured arm, and HarryPalms unable to play because of an arthritic flare up, the Steins were left with only 8 men on the pitch, kicking to a menacingly full squad of groaning Flesh. The Flesh advanced like a wrecking ball, and as the half wore on, the grunts of pain and cracking of bone from the Steins on the field were audible above the rumble of the crowd. By the time ghoul Demented crossed into the end zone with the ball, there were only 3 prone longbeards left on the pitch, the rest having been KO'd or seriously injured. With both runners and both blitzers down for the count, the Steins hopes looked dim, however as the last seconds of the first half drained away, Booglie scored a morale-booster for the embattled Dwarves as he charged mummy Softy & Squishy, knocking him flat and piling on with his full weight, crushing the mummy's torso to dust.

An angry howl went up form the pro-Flesh crowd as they witnessed the third Flesh mummy to expire since the beginning of season II, and both teams set up for the seocnd half.  Despite a good effort by the Steins to tie the game, longbeards unaccustomedly and awkwardly trying to manhandle the ball, the drive broke down midfield and the Flesh re-asserted control, ghoul Disturbed stealing the ball and scoring again late in the half, putting the game out of reach.  With little chance to score and poor ball handling ability, the Steins last play once again ended in failure, although they exacted some measure of additional revenge upon their undead tormentors, seriously injuring two zombies and veteran wight Riddled.

So ended a casualty packed crowd-pleasing upset semi-final match, 1 dead and 6 seriously injured out of a total casualty count of 8.  The Flesh advance to the DragonBowl Final, a remarkable achievement for a team which had been written off by many Bloodbowl experts at the mid-season. We'll be sorry to see these plucky underdogs retire at playoff's end, and can only wish Coach Evil 1 the best in taking the DragonBowl with him to grace his mantle until DragonBowl III. Go Flesh!!
 

I Say, A New Point Release: JavaBowl 7.5 Released

New stuff! Get it in the downloads section here!

• Added I AM THE GREATEST! handicap results.
• Added niggling injury rolls at half time for FUMBBL DIVX testing.
• Added handicap results display to the right click popup menu. If there are handicaps then a "Handicaps" menu item is added which expands to a list of the handicaps rolled. Clicking them does nothing but close the popup menu. I didn't test it put spectators should be able to view this list as well.
• Fixed a problem where a SI from the crowd that is regenerated would be reported incorrectly in the result file on the other computer.
• Fixed a problem where a fanatic blocking a player on their team with sidestep would ask the opponent for the sidestep square.
• Probably a few more fixes in Bugzilla I can't recall at the moment.
• I plan on phasing out the .res file soon as I am not sure it is even up to date. You should be using the .xml result file instead or be starting to convert your league over now.

Sunday Spectacular: Quarter-Finals End

The six remaining games of the quarter-final round were played out on Sunday, adding 2 to the quarter-final death toll which stands at 9 over 12 games.
 

The second Dragon Conference match-up kicked off early Sunday as the Frothy Steins faced the Short & Surly, edging them out 1-0. It was Dwarf vs Chaos Dwarf, and both teams put in solid performances, the Surly despite weakened by the unfortunate flare-up of Agamemnon the Horny's old war-wounds which kept him off the pitch on this critical match. Despite a breathtakingly close Surly play in the first half, the game remained scoreless until late in the 2nd half, when the Steins got the break they needed, HarryPalms scoring the winning touchdown. The Steins advance to the semi-finals, where they will face the dark horse Creeping Flesh.

The Frog Conference leaders Mass Killers swept to a 2-0 victory over the Blood Drakkar, employing their traditional attrition style tactics led by the super-star and #1 casualty scorer The Jackal. The Drakkar put up a stalwart resistance, and fortunately suffered no permanent injuries from the match, but ultimately they could not outmaneuver the immensely powerful Chaos team. With this game, the Killers become the first team to break the 300 mark according the the Spike! Magazine rating system..

The reigning DragonBowl champs, the Brimstone Bonestealers knocked the contending Blue Blighters out of the running with a 2-1 win, upsetting the 2nd place team's DragonBowl hopes. Another high casualty game, there were few Skaven able to take the field by the end of regulation time... despite this, the game was close run, the Blighters having splurged in hiring legendary Rat Ogre Headsplitter and a Skaven Warp Mage to support them. The Bonestealers pass on to the semi-final match to do Battle Royale with the ascendant Mass Killers, while the Blighters are reportedly taking the next season off for their own darkly obfuscated and undoubtedly twisted reasons.
 

The Straight to Videos narrowly beat the Screaming Midgets 4-3 in overtime after a tense close-fought match which saw the Midgets coming from a 2-0 disadvantage to tie the game at 3-3 at the end of regulation time. Although the game was a victory for the Videos, they advance to the semi-finals in poor shape, with four players out with serious injuries and one dead, experienced line-elf "Are you talking to me?" who was killed during overtime, victim of the multiple blocking troll slayer Right Said Fred. They face the full strength Slicers and Bad Dicers in the semi-final match.
 

The Noir Desir secured their advancement to the next round with a 3-2 victory over the Dead-on Balls Inaccurate. The Inaccurate put up a hard fight, hustling hard for a last minute tying touchdown, but heir hopes were dashed when Desir blitzer Malef Hic snagged a perfect interception on a pass by human thrower Judas. The Noir Desir remain the bookie favorites in this playoff tournament, and, victory or no they are expected to have a bright 3rd season ahead of them in Division B.

The Dead Zone pulled off a minor upset of the Screaming Vikings, beating them 1-0 in a hard slugging match which saw injuries on both sides, not the least of which was the permanent dismemberment of unnaturally strong zombie and ex-Inaccurate player, Rudolph the Drunk, by Vikings ogre NogNogUzDer (clearly still venting about his exclusion from the Allstar roster). Rudolph gains the dubious honour of being the first player in the DragonBBL to have been killed TWICE, as well as having had a much brighter career as a zombie than as a living human... The Zone advance to the semi-finals, where they face the Noir Desir.
 

Bloody Wednesday: Quarter-Finals Begin

The quarter-final matches of all three trophy tournaments kicked off this week, resulting in 7 deaths and numerous injuries. Many teams brought out the big guns early, hiring some added muscle to clinch their 1st round matches.
 

Dragon Conference suffered a major upset on Wednesday after the favoured-to-win Frog Machine suffered a crippling 2-1 loss at the hands of the fourth place Creeping Flesh. The early death of storm vermin stalwart Gnawdel Segundo at the hands of ghoul Disturbed set the tone of the match for the Machine, who struggled to even up the score by the end of the first half.  Although veteran ghoul Fragile lived up to his name by tripping and fatally breaking his own neck midway through the first half, the casualties were lopsidedly in favour of the Flesh, the second half turning into a total rout. The heavily-mutated veteran linerat Trask Undezimo was killed by ghoul Demented, followed shortly thereafter by gutter runner Snikkit Terzo being killed by wight Slacker. With stunned Machine captain Viskrin Novo the only Skaven left on the field, ghoul Disturbed easily scored the winning touchdown to take the Flesh into the Semi-finals, and send the Machine home early with 3 body-bags in tow.

The Flesh were the dark horse winners of last season's Spike! Invitational tournament, and have showed once again that they perform best under pressure. Despite these successes, the Flesh will be bowing out of a third season, Coach Evil 1 already slated to coach a rookie team in C Division.  The Machine take an early vacation for the second season running, although we are told that the team will, undaunted and reorganized, be back next season to have another go at the elusive DragonBowl.
 

Plenty of action in B Division this week, opening up with two matches on Wednesday night and one on Thursday morning.

The first place Frog Conference Rongeurs Flamboyants continue on the semi-finals after a solid 2-0 win over the Mad Howlers Wednesday night. The Rongeurs hired Headsplitter for the match, but to no avail as the massive rat ogre was knocked flat in the opening minutes of the game by the Howlers' Troll Bunky Ledbutt, and adamantly refused to get back into the play afterwards, claiming a sore knee. The Howlers put together some solid plays, but each time they were stymied by the aggressive rongeurs defense and the unbelievable agility of Dilate la Rate who dodged and wove his way between the towering Orcs to steal the ball form their midst. The Rongeurs suffered one setback, as veteran linerat Tempu Rat was mortally brained by Bunky Ledbutt as the 2nd half waned.  The Howlers go to an early vacation and an uncertain future as the current Howlers management considers taking on a new team.

The second Frog Conference quarter final match also went down Wednesday night, the Rage Sharks defeating the Putrid Swamp Boozzhounds 2-0. The hard hitting Sharks hired the infamous Morg 'N' Thorg, who's size and rpesence had a significant impact on the Boozzhounds play. The Sharks were able to get momentum early, scoring unanswered touchdowns in both halves, and inflicting heavy casualties on the Hounds, killing black orc blocker Killer Kenney in the second half. Killer Kenney had been having problems with his chest armor and inadvisably played without it, continuing heroically despite a near fatal blow from ogre Bashdot Orrgh in the first half until his tragic demise under the claws of Anger Shark. The Boozzhounds leave early to do some relaxing burning and pillaging along the Brettonian border before going into training camp for the next season.

The Slicers and Bad Dicers themselves re-affirmed their dominance of Dragon Conference by defeating the Drakehead Smashers 2-0 on Thursday morning. A miserable game for the Smashers capping an unexceptional season and ending the career of a team which had fallen on hard times, the Smashers could not seem to get their plays going against the Dicers, who dominated both halves. The Dicers dominated in casualties as well, blitzer Jumbo Shrimp perosnally taking out the top skinks on the Smashers' roster, breaking Godbless's ribs and killing Godgiven outright in the first half. The Smashers and their coach go into retirement following the dashing of their playoff hopes.
 

Two close fought matches in C Division, Dragon Conference.

The first place Bloodpie Bakers edged out the Nipply Cadavers 2-1 on Monday night, securing their advancement and sending the Cadavers into retirement. The Cadavers put up a fierce fight, but the sturdy chaos dwarves of the Bakers ultimately shut them down through attrition. Sources within the Cadavers tell us that famed ghoul scorer Chewlips "Fresh Fresh" Spurtz has been released from his contract with the team, and intends to become a free agent. The most successful ghoul ever to play for the league, Chewlips record speaks for itself: 18 TD, 2 CP, 2 CS, and fully 5 MVP awards, with an impressive 1.00 TDA. Chewlips is the first free agent to emerge from the DragonBBL.

The dark horse Wooden Bowl favorites Spermosaurs beat out the Funeral March 2-1 despite the orcs being boosted by the legendary blitzer Varag Ghoul-Chewer. The initial March drive ground down the Spermosaurs' defence over the course of the 1st half, ending it with the score 1-0 in favour of the March. The Spermosaurs bounced back, however, scoring a fast touchdown at the start of the 2nd and turning over the March's return drive to score an unanswered winning touchdown, clinching victory at the end of regulation time. The Spermosaurs continue to battle against the Bakers in the semi-final, while the March join the Boozzhounds and the Howlers in the club of orc teams who have been eliminated formt he first round of playoffs, much to the chagrin of the many small villages that they will pass through on their way home...
 

Important: Skill Roll Method Has Changed

Starting with the playoff matches, the Skill and Ageing rolls generated by JBB will no longer be used.

The central database will now be automatically making skill and ageing rolls for players who gain new skills. The roll results will be output onto the updated player roster in the following format:

SKILL or TRAIT depending whether doubles was rolled.

Any possible stat gain will be listed as +MA, +AG, or +ST after SKILL or TRAIT.

Any ageing result will be listed as -n, -av, -ma, -ag, or -st after the above codes. Ageing results will be applied immediately to the player's stats on the updated roster.

So for example, if I have a player who rolls a 4-6, but ages and gains a niggle, I would see the following code in his skill field on the updated roster:

SKILL +MA -n

Skill/Trait/Stat gain choices can then be made and admin@soapyfrog.net informed, and your roster will be updated as per the usual method.

There are three reasons for this change in process:

• It cuts my post-game administrative work in half, as I do not have to scan the post game rosters for skill rolls and ageing results, and then shoehorn them into my database.
• It lets everyone see what skills you COULD take by checking your roster in the locker room, in the event you have not picked something yet.
• Skill and Ageing rolls are absolutely tamper proof (not that there is any suspiscion of such a thing, but as the league grows the possibility grows with it).

This system is ready to be implemented now and will be used for the playoff games and all games in the future.
 

Brains vs Brawn: A-Dragon Allstars 3 A-Frog Allstars OT, Dragons Win by Shootout

A tense match in which the clearly out-muscled A Dragon Allstar team managed to use their superior mobility to hang on neck and neck with the A Frog Allstar team, despite suffering a total of 9 casualties.

The first half ended 1-1 after a disastrous opening play by Dragon led to a general melee in which some of the best linemen on the Dragon team were badly hurt. The Dragon team managed to recover and score near the end of the half, Frog then sending gutter runner Slipps on a mad dash to even the score in the final seconds.

The second half saw each side picking up one more touchdown, Frog almost losing control of their reception after an error by Ogre Grossebouf, but recovering enough to muscle their way to the end zone. Dragon then pulled out the infamous Skrittar Quarzo to even up the score in the closing seconds of regulation time, and the game went into OT tied 2-2, the Dragon dugout packed with badly, seriously, and critically wounded players.

Dragon one the toss and Skrittar repeated his feat to make it 3-2 with barely 30 seconds elapsed in OT, giving maximum time for a possible turnaround play. The Frog team muscled back against the greatly depleted Dragon squad, but time and time again the Dragons outmaneuvered the Frogs to challenge the ball... at one point wardancer Wethylwych had to make a safety play, knocking flat Skrittar Quarzo who had stolen the ball and was speeding towards the end zone. Disaster narrowly averted, the Frog squad stomped their way across the pitch, finally tying up the score in the last seconds of the OT period.

With the game tied at 3-3, the two teams went into penalty shootout, which was narrowly won by the exhausted Dragon squad. Although victory was Dragons' it was only by the narrowest margins...

A total of 60,000 gc profit was collected from the est. 145,000 fans which crammed into the stadium, sweetening the pot of the DragonBowl for the best of the best to collect.
 

Cabalvision Presents: The Allstar ProBowl II

Tonight witnesses the kickoff of the A and C Division Allstar ProBowl II matches, as Frog and Dragon Conferences battle for supremacy.  Division C Allstars kick off at 7:30pm EST, the Division A Allstars get under way at 8:00pm EST.  Don't miss them!

In order to properly view the Allstar matches, you will need to to download the Allstar GFX patch, which will allow you to see all the players represented by their correct pictures and icons. Download the zip file and unzip the 3 files inside to your JBB directory, overwriting the exiting files there.  This patch will in no way affect JBB's ability to play normal games against un-patched opponents.

Let the carnage begin!
 

Battleworn: Regular Season Draws to a Close

A Division: The Brimstone Bonestealers clinched 3rd place in Frog Conference to face off against the Blue Blighters in the playoff quarter-final, with the Blood Drakkar coming in 4th, pitting them against the 1st place Mass Killers.

B Division: In a surprise upset, the Screaming Midgets defeated the Putrid Swamp Boozzhounds and jumped from 5th to 3rd place in Dragon Conference, facing off against the Straight to Videos in quarter-final action while the Drakehead Smashers found themselves unexpectedly in 4th, going up against the 1st place Slicers and Bad Dicers.

C Division: Last minute maneuvering in Dragon Conference saw the Funeral March taking 3rd position to face off against the Spermosaurs, and the the Nipply Cadavers relegated to 4th place where they must face the Bloodpie Bakers in the quarter-final of the first Wooden Bowl. Frog Conference also crystalized, a tie game between the Dead-on Balls Inaccurate and the Sylvan SuperSonics seeing the Dead Zone keep a hold of 3rd position facing the Screaming Vikings, while the Inaccurate must go on to face the first place Noir Desir.

Allstars: The playoffs will be exciting no mistake! But before the playoffs we have the Allstar Probowl, the conferences square off against one another starting this weekend, now that the rosters are finalized. The full rosters can be found in the respective division's locker room.  Don't miss these star-studded contests!
 

Clash of the Titans!! Dervishes 4 Flicks 2
Coach Buttercup, Hoary Dervishes

It all began with the firing of the entire assistant coach/cheerleader squad of the Dervishes, who had been implicated in co-fraternal scandal resolvable only by either the hiring of a team-sponsored daycare or the firing of the entire staff.

This lack of coaches convinced the league commissioners to award a handicap to the Dervishes, who promptly spiked the Flicks' gatorade kegs with a specially-engineered brew designed by the Head Chef, and which gave the entire team a nasty stomach flu. Julien and Paul, hampered by their niggling injuries, were the only members of the team who did not recover by game time.

The game then began with Wesley, the Dervishes Treeman, racing to appear on-time due to the last-minute hiring of Deeproot Strongbranch to ensure promptness. Having caught wind of this hiring, the Flicks' responded by bringing in their ringer, the Chainsaw-wielding goblin Ash, cousin to Nobbla Blackwart.

The Dervishes won the kickoff and began their bone-crushing assault on their fellow stunty compatriots, which left many goblins badly hurt or knocked out by the end of the game.

A slow, pounding drive was punctuated by fouling and the use of Ash's chainsaw, in one case slicing the hair off the top of a halfling's hair, causing him to pass out and be carried off to the sidelines where he was eventually revived with smelling salts and the smell of roasting frankfurters covered in prime pig grease. Ash's attempt to castrate Percy the Ogre met with failure as Percy's raw-pasta-shell codpiece deflected the blow.

Eventually, the halfings scored their second (or possibly third) rushing touchdown of the season, to which the Flicks immediately responded. Setting up with the Twin Towers of Troll side-by-side on the line of scrimmage, the agile Marc was lofted through the air, landing into the waiting arms of halfling Flowers, whose grip was insufiicient to hold him fast while Marc dodged away for the quick score. The paprika-flavoured pig grease used in the halfling scullery for maximum dodge-ability alas must have rubbed off onto the squeaky Marc.

Not to be outdone by their opponents' loft-a-goblin play, in the dying minutes of the first half the Dervishes set up for their own launch-a-fatty play with the wide zones occupied by Percy and Wesley. The short kickoff was caught by none other than the highly-surprised Deeproot Strongbranch, centering the high-wood-content line of scrimmage. "So this is what holding the ball feels like" he commented to no-one in particular. So stunned by this turn of events, coach Buttercup halted the sprinting Flowers right in the handoff-path of Deeproot, who, after a successful blitz-away of his marking goblin foe, had to sprint an extra square before handing the ball off to the Dervishes' most-skilled player Lars. Lars was nervous about the launch-play, having just missed a broken neck, only being saved by the Dervishes' apothecary/butcher only mere turns ago after landing head-first into the pitch on a similar fling-play.

However, Nuffle was looking favourably upon Lars, who landed within sprinting distance of the goal line - end of first half, Dervishes 2, Flicks 1.

Alas, the Flicks' potential comeback was temporarily delayed by the blitzing Dervishes whose halftime snacks had been infused with the latest confectionary brought in from the land of chocolate. More goblins were taken off the pitch, complaining about the chunks taken out of them by the "wooden wall".

However, even this half-opening blitz could not stop the "revenge of the goblin" play, whereby Marc flew threw the air in a repeat performance of his last play, rushing in to tie the match.

Alas, the glory that was the goblin's flying squad could not be matched on defence by the highly depleted defence, Ash being removed from the field by an official who had been "persuaded" by the Dervish cooking/coaching squad to ban the flagrant use of the chainsaw.

Another TD was scored, based perhaps on a failed goblinloft, but the details remain murky.

The Dervishes did score, however, and recovering the ball again, retrieving it from the 5 remaining goblins available to be set up for the kickoff. Ted was able to make another passing play, leaving the hapless ball carrier closer to the end zone, oh so close. Closer than he had ever been before. However, it was not to be. A suicide blitz was attempted, succeeding against all odds, and the ball tumbled into the hands of a dedicated Dervishes' fan, who promptly threw the ball onto the other side of the pitch.

Then, in a spectacular fling-play-rush-handoff, crying "for Billy!!!!! (but forgetting "for Billy's Brother!!!")", Billy's Cousin ended the game by receiving a handoff in the end zone.

And thus ended the season, and likely the career, of the Hoary Dervishes, with a season-high 33 SPP in one match alone, seven casualties being dealt to the Flicks, with only one in return.