No Casualties? Sharks 2
Howlers 1
Bunky Dragoncharmer, Cabalvision Sports
The Sharks received and slammed into the Ork line. Driving up the right side and shoving the Howlers out of the way. At centerfield, Bunky Ledbutt and Bashdot Orrgh came face to face, and growled at each other, successfully confusing each other as they stood for over a stone, blank looks of confusion upon their mighty brows, a mad battle raging around them. The Orks scrambled to close the hole the Sharks had punched in their line. Outnumbered and unable to down their targets, the Howlers clawed at the Sharks defense to no avail and by the drop of the third stone, Fritz the Blitz Grabba Grabba crossed the Howlers line and put the Sharks in the lead.
The Sharks kicked deep into the Howlers zone but rookie Thrower Hartzblud couldn't get a grip on the ball as it slipped away from him. The sharks charged into the Howlers line and paved the way for beastman Maim to break through and come barreling down towards Hartzblud. Hartzblud however showed his true colors by snatching up the ball and much to the surprise of Maim, charging him. Maim hesitated for a second and never saw Blitzer Spleenlik who slammed him to the pitch. The Sharks came back and invaded the Howlers line, closing in on Hartzblud. The ork thrower would not be fazed however and slipped away from his beastmen pursuers and charged towards the line. Meanwhile at the other end of the pitch, Blitzer Skullcrakk circled around the Sharks deep defense and ran into the middle of the Sharks zone where thrower Hartzblud delivered and perfect spiral right into the Blitzers waiting arms. Spleenlik followed up his previous attack on Maim and knocked him out cold with a punch right between the horns. Fritz the Blitz would however break out of the melee and run Skullcrakk down, sending him and the ball flying into the air. Rend doubled back to grab the ball but it got away from him. Spleenlik, having finished with Maim, double back and charged into the fray, picking up the ball as his teammates caged around him. The cage could not hold Rend, who broke free and ran Spleenlik down knocking him to the ground and knocking the ball mere yards away. Giving it one last shot as the 8th stone ticked away, Bonecrusha knocked Rend out of the way as Spleenlik jumped to his feet and ran into the Sharks zone. The pressure was on rookie thrower Hartzblud who charged in, snapped up the ball and cracked under the pressure and fumbled his pass dashing the Howlers hopes of tying the game up as the half came to a close.
The second half started with the Sharks dropping the kick right behind scrimmage line. Hartzblud raced in towards the ball but the Howlers couldn't afford to wait and so Krotchkik recovered the ball as his line mates slammed into the Sharks. The Howlers quickly pushed the Sharks out of the way and Krotchkik raced at breakneck speeds down the right side while his teammates tied up the Sharks. At the third stone, Spleenlik raced into the Sharks zone to tie up the game.
The Howlers kicked deep into the Sharks zone, the ball bouncing into their end zone. The lines clashed and Fritz the Blitz raced in to grab the ball but he dropped it into the crowd and it bounced wildly among the crowd who waged war over the slippery skin. Nuffle would throw in a heavy hand and the ball would resurface near the scrimmage line on the right side. The sharks redoubled their efforts taking the ork line apart and Beastman Frumpy Thistlebottom pawed at the ball, which refused to stop bouncing around. Frumpy would succeed on his second effort and as his line mates shoved the Howlers out of the way, he raced along the right side, into the Howlers territory. Frumpy raced on towards the goal line but on the 7th stone, lineork Blackgums broke from the melee and ran Frumpy down only to be slammed into the ground by the more powerful Beastman, who crossed the line on the 7th stone, putting the Sharks back into the lead.
With only a single stone remaining, the Howlers gathered on the line and as the kick sailed high over their heads, not an ork turned to look as they charged into the Sharks one final time. The two masses of warriors clashed to no great result as the last stone came to end and the whistle blew on a hometown victory.
We caught up with coach Blargson after the game to get his thoughts.
"My boyz did a lot better than I had hoped, my boyz didn't do any real damage but they hit hard and often and took as much as they gave out and no one here is complaining. I was really hoping for a victory but then again, I was also really hoping large rocks would drop from the sky and take out a few Sharks so I'm learning to deal with disappointment."
Live from the locker room, this is Bunky
Dragoncharmer with Cabalvision sports.
A Packmaster's Diary:
Hunt 4 Blighters 0
From the
Journal of Packmaster second class Whippit Gouda
Re: Blue Blighters vs Wild Hunt (RO#56-2 "Mittens")
The exalted Plaguelord Puswort has laid the blame squarely upon my shoulders for the recent devastating loss. He has also laid upon them, burning hot coals, phiranna-flies and an anvil. Thus it is my duty to determine the wheres, whys and the no not me's of this last game.
Initially things were looking up with the mincy elf-things tree-thing out of the game due to an mistletoe infestation. We still had pretty much a full line up and one gutter runner (more about him later!). It did mean the Hunt set up way back defensively on the first drive.
The warpstone/pig blood mixture from last game that was so effective seems to have worn off and I wonder if the withdrawl was the cause of the poor play and lax eating habits of Mittens of late. He roared forward and waited as trained until an opening was to be made in the elf line. Sadly the wardancer Wethlwych somersaulted over several defenders and blitzed Slipps, that incompetent fool, who of course dropped the ball like the weakling he is. The ball was recovered by the sniveling wretch as the elf-things shored up their lines. Mittens was performing well at this point.
The the first of many disasters struck as Mittens was brought down by a pathetic elf thing, who I suspect, hid a skewer or blade apon its self, which required me to patch Mittens up on the field with warp-paste and stout hemp rope stiches. He was then set upon by the nearly the entire elf team much like many other teams before them.
My beloved pet was unsuccessful three time in his attempt to extract himself from the pile of elves, while the useless git Slipps was getting repeatedly blitzed elsewhere on the field. And, even though my fine genetic creation was holding off no less than 5 elf things Slipps tripped over his own feet in the end zone! And I get the blame for the defeat! Madness. Clearly Clan Eshin has threatened Puswort to avoid a chastising. Not only did the ball go into the crowd but the miserable elf fans threw it into the arms of their catcher Skaw2 who was curiously beyond our reach. I think the fans had numerous balls scattered about the pitch for just this eventuality. Then Mittens shoved himself away from the wall of elves but clearly exhausted he fell to the elvish counter attack. Oh the elf thing scored eventually, cunningly running out the clock in the process.
Again I must profess confusion as Mittens stumbled again on defence as again the puny elf things threw sand in his big sensitive emerald eyes or something and he threw the team into disarray allowing the fleet footed elf-things to score.
Once more, my poor creature cause a turnover when misdirected by his teammates (I think that Gutter scum pushed him), tripped as he was surely about to break the back of a elf-thing. But the wretched incompetence of the team leader and the rest of the line were truly to blame. A simple dump off was clearly too taxing for our "beloved" leader who seems more interested in padding his statistics to keep his contract for "Foul!" brand skavenbrew. But I digress.
Again 5 or more (perhaps the whole team at this point) elves jumped on poor Mittens who burst through them no doubt causing such serious mental damage that they will never play again. While the other team-members couldn't drop a measly elf to stop them from scoring. Mittens took on half the team, by the Horned Rat, yet those weak fools escape punishment.
So frazzled by this he was clearly unable to block a simple line-elf down due, I think, to the lackluster aid from the scrimmage line. But we were able to get the ball to the soon to be rat-slave Slipps who couldn't dodge away from a thin elf line and, most amusingly, badly hurt himself in the fall.
Again half the elf team surrounded Mittens. He batted one away contemptuously as I taught him but was overcome by reinforcements (I believe the local elf militia joined the fracas at this point, I'm not sure I was distracted by Puswort's bodyguards entering the Rat Ogre Pen).
After my "debriefing" Puswort stated:
"Those warpstone suppositories clearly aren't working, and we lost 3 slaves trying to insert them. The after effect is obviously soporific and we lost the game because of it. Oh and that junk you gave the Rat Ogre is crap too."
More Handicaps: JavaBowl 7.2 Released!
Wow a whole point release! Not a big list of changes though... Get it in the downloads section here!
- Fixes the sound problems during SKULL/POW results.
- The "Download Opp Pics" option should now work for spectators in the same way it works for players.
- Added the following handicap table results: GREASED SHOES, STILETTO, KNUCKLEDUSTERS, BUZZING!, ILLEGAL DRUGS
- There are probably a few other fixes I can't remember at the moment.
It's the surprise patch! Who knows what it fixes? Not even
SkiJunkie!!
Steely Nerves: Inaccurate 1
Zone 1
Bunky Dragoncharmer, Cabalvision Sports
Afternoon Bloodbowl fans, another splendid
afternoon saw us at the Necrodome where the visiting Dead-On Balls
Inaccurate looked ready for a fight. Coach Walken and the Dead Zone
also looked ready for a bloody confrontation but this was far less note
worthy since I'm pretty sure that's the only look they have.
The Inaccurate having lost the coin toss, they kicked to the Zone who waded
into the humans with little zest but much groaning. Ghoul charger was first
to offer a sacrifice to Nuffle as he tripped on his mysterious "second foot"
as he was about to make a pass, choosing instead to drop the ball halfway
down the Zones territory.
"On Blitzen! On Comet!" came the cries from the Inaccurate dugout and
Blitzen moved in quickly snatching the ball up to hand it off behind him to
Comet who had followed him in. The Undead proposed a minor alteration to
this plan by slamming into the two Blitzers and knocking the ball lose. The
Inaccurate would nonetheless press on with Comet regaining the ball and
trying a pass to Russel to score, but Russel couldn't get a good grip on the
projectile and it fell a few yards from the Zones goal line.
Off balance from his throw, Comet never saw wight Snow coming at him from
the side. The impact would leave the wight grinning and the Blitzer unable
to continue the match. Ghoul Charger quickly ducked back towards the line
and snatched up the ball and ran back towards the line, making a short pass
to Viper to quickly sought the cover of the Undead forces still making
battle at the line. The war of the line intensified. Mack N.Uptha-Numbaz
found himself on the wrong end of a KO from mummy Seka. The undead advanced
towards the Inaccurate goal line, slowly and steadily. The humans kept
throwing themselves at the cage, trying to break through. Bob the Lineman
paid with his consciousness his attempt to clash with mummy Jenna. once
escorted into range, ghoul Viper broke from the cage, racing in to place the
Zone in the lead 1-0.
The Zone placed a beautiful kick just beyond the line of scrimmage on the
right side, away from the Inaccurates who had gathered on the left side in
homage of their moniker. The Inaccurate launched deep into the Zones side,
apparently oblivious to the minor detail of not having the ball which the
undead quickly recovered. As the final seconds of the half counted down, a
frustrate Donner exacted revenge on ghoul Viper, who landed in a heap with a
fractured leg. The serious injury brought the half to an end and both teams
returned to their locker rooms.
The second started with the Inaccurate recovering the kick and punching a
hole on the right side of the line. The humans moved the ball into the Zones
turf cautiously, making sure to keep ball carrier Rye covered. The undead
haunted their every step, and halfway through their territory, Rye got
tangled up trying to escape the undead horde on his heels and slammed into
the pitch head first, braining himself. The undead ground to a lumbering
halt and ghoul Charger grabbed the ball and ordered the rotting train to
turn around.
The undead advanced slowly up the pitch, the humans throwing themselves at
the cage and succeeding only in slowing the Zone to a crawl. With 6 stones
down the undead were still in their own zone. With only 2 stones remaining
and down by 1, the Inaccurate needed a miracle, and they got one. Blitzer Russel dove into the pack and slammed into Charger, knocking the ball free
and onto the edge of the field where Thrower Judas "The Iceman"
Iaintscaredaya dashed and snatched up the ball from right under mummy Jenna,
and wasting no time, fired a pass through the mummy's raised arms and right
into those of Mack N. Quindzashitab who stepped away from his undead cover
and dashed off to tie the game up at 1-1.
With only a few stones left in the half, the humans kicked to the undead and
the Zone seemed poised to get moving quickly but skeleton Lara dropped the
handoff. Mack N. Upthanumbaz wasted no time in diving in to retrieve the
ball but the slippery bugger got away from him. With the last stone ticking
away, Charger got the ball and ran over to skeleton Sigourney only to hand
her the ball and watch it bounce down her ribcage and lazily onto the
scrimmage line as the whistle blew to a close this matchup.
And so ends another glorious battle, there would be no victory to be had
here, final score: Zone 1 - Inaccurate 1.
This is Bunky Dragoncharmer, live from the pitch.
The Champ Ain't Done Yet: Bonestealers
3 Paladins 1
Coach Nygrell Grimskull, Brimstone
Bonestealers
Despite some signaling errors between the dugout and the field early in the first half, allowing the Paladins to score relatively easily, the Bonestealers came back strong, scoring late in the first half and then again early in the second, all the while attriting the Paladins' roster with knockouts and sprains. By the end of the second half, there was little the Paladins could do (although they certainly did attempt what they could!) to stop the Bonestealers from scoring a final third touchdown with a fancy passing play by Mad Dog Marrowlips.
Anoth Tset, feared Bonestealer Mummy, made her presence felt (oh so painfully) on the field a number of times, including one particularly brutal block which sent two Paladins to the dugout. Asked later about breaking out of her casualty-inflicting slump, Anoth simply said: "It's a start. Ben Laden, I'm coming for you!"
Attrition Bloodbowl: Blighters
2 Surly 2
Bunky Dragoncharmer, Cabalvision Sports
[Ed: Plaguelord Puswort's (coach of the Blue Blighters) personal account of the match can be found here for those interested in counterpoint. Or in milk coming out of your nose, for that mater...]
It was a
grey day today as the Skaven favorite Blue Blighters faced off
against coach Funky Fleetfoot's fearsome Short and Surly. The Surlies
lost the toss and kicked to the hometown team. Agammemnon stood very still
as his handler attached his game bib seconds before the kick. The ref eyed
the giant beast with suspicion and prepared to drop a flag for "too many
Surlies" but as Hoofgrinder began his traditional backwards charge towards
the ball, Agamemnon received the "bib's clear" signal from coach Fleetfoot
and promptly ate his handler, bringing the count into regulation.
The ball sailed high and deep into the Blighters territory and as is their
custom, local legend Mittens bellowed a mighty "SQEEEEAKK!!!" and charged
into the Surly ranks, drawing their attention for but a second. Amusingly
enough, Skaven Skuppers, Skrichtit and Slipps were available for a quick
demonstration of what Skaven can do with 1 second and though the kick was
deep into their zone, Skuppers snatched up the ball, ran quickly to
Skrichtit who raced over to the Blighters "1 turn wonder" Slipps who ran the
ball clean into the Surly end zone before anyone knew what had just
happened.
The Blighters kicked deep into the right side but only the Hobgoblins
noticed as they were the only ones watching the ball. The pitch exploded,
the earth shook and a low cloud of dust thundered and rolled at the line,
the Surlies had come and no one was safe. The lines clashed, Gloin
Goldfillingseeker stepped on Stukkins neck, badly hurting the linerat.
Thorin Redbeard slammed tall hat first into thrower Chukks, dislocating his
shoulder, a wound that removed the thrower from play and will cause him
discomfort in games to come. As if that weren't enough, Hobgoblin
DamageSponge seriously injured Skitters who had been knocked down when he
charged and place kicked his spleen, getting decent yardage and himself
ejected by officials.
The Blighters threw out all the stops and three of them overpowered
Agamemnon near the line and shoved him out. A vicious melee ensued that
would travel the pitch. Gnashit would be next off the field, unconscious at
the hands of Thorin Redbeard. Mittens grabbed Hobgoblin Really Scared by the
neck with his tail and slammed him into the pitch repeatedly, breaking his
neck. Miraculously, the Hobgoblin survived. Skuppers grabbed a hold of Gloin
Goldfillingseeker beard and applied a vicious double face kick, knocking the
daylight clean out of him. The Surlies recovered and Hoofgrinder ran off
solo towards a deserted part of the field, only to learn he was well within
range of the Skaven offense who ganged up on him and took him to the grass. Leapsies recovered the ball just in time see Hoofgrinder leap to his hoofs,
and run him down, reclaiming the ball, only to be tripped in turn by
Skritchtit, who not only reclaimed the ball but dashed off, crossing the
Surlies line within plenty of time left to spare for his patented "Can I get
a squeak?" dance which the fans were more than happy to oblige with a
thunderous chorus that shook the rafters. With only a few seconds left in
the half, the Blighters kicked to the Surlies who barely had time to knock
out Skars before the whistle.
The Skaven could only field 7 to the Surlies 9 in the second and they were
kicking to the dwarves. Skrabby was knocked unconscious at the clash and
Shitless recovered the ball. The Surlies chased down the Skaven, Agamemnon
badly hurting thrower Skuppers with a vicious backhand. With only 5
Blighters on the pitch and most of them down, Shitless ran like the wind
being paced by Doom Charger. Known cheat Assmonkey was caught by officials
feeding Mittens drug laced raw hobbit he had concealed on his person and
before coach Puswort could react, the Rat Ogre had eaten the tainted meat.
Within seconds, the creature was carried off the pitch by medics, afflicted
with stomach cramps severe enough to prevent Mittens from finishing the
game. Officials glared towards the Surlies dugout only to be met by
Fleetfoot's expression of surprise. Assmonkey was ejected from the game.
Agamemnon knocked gutter runner Slipps unconscious as soon as play resumed
and Skrichtit met a similar fate at the hands of Doom Charger. the Surlies
scored with only 2 Blighters left on the field and neither really able to
prevent the point. Coach Puswort cracked open a wheel of his personal stash
of Warp Stone Gouda and as the smell drifted into the infirmary where medics
were frantically trying to wake up 4 Blighters, all 4 leapt to their feet,
allowing the Blighters to field 6 players against the Surlies 9. The
recovery went awry when runner Snukit failed to catch the transition pass
and dropped the ball in the Blighters zone. Hoofgrinder waste no time in
running the runner down, knocking him unconscious with a violent headbutt
and recovering the ball while his teammates applied a vicious beating to the
outnumbered Blighters. Hobgoblin Lucky-to-be-alive produced a slime covered
dagger and tried to assassinate runner Slipps who dodged out of the way and
called for the officials who confiscated the weapon and ejected the
Hobgoblin from the game over coach Fleetfoots' arguments that the blade was
carried for "religious" reasons. Hoofgrinder tied the game 2-2.
With 1 minutes left on the clock. The 6 rat Skaven squad got ready for a
patented quick strike for victory but as the Surlies kicked, the Agamemnon
Booster Club which had followed their hero to town, charged onto the pitch.
The results were devastating. Snukkit was seriously injured, Skars was
knocked unconscious and everyone else was stunned. Despite all this, Puswort
and his Blighters managed to prevent the Surlies from breaking the tie and
came within one catchers inadequate effort from breaking that tie himself.
And so this epic battle ended in a draw Surlies 2, Blighters 2.
With Cabalvision Sports, this is Bunky Dragoncharmer live from the pitch.
Hitting the Ladies: Howlers 3
Divas 0
Bunky Dragoncharmer, Cabalvision Sports
The Divas won the toss and setup heavy on the left side. As the howlers' kick headed towards the middle of the field, a brawl erupted in the stands between warring faction of the Grub Eaters clan over that age old "Taste great/Less filling" debacle. Luckily,the brawl spilled over onto the pitch, and one fan fell out of stands, through the Howlers dugout roof and into coach Blargson's "3-elf stew". Blargson roared and ordered his Howlers into the stands and the ancient question was answered, as announcer Bilge Sakkskratcher would comment: "Well there ya have it folks! Taste great? Less filling? Who cares! You're dead!"
Having brought the fans back to order, the teams claimed the pitch once more and the game started having lost close to half the half, which is, uhhh, a few turns, ok? The smaller but more experienced Divas plowed into the unsuspecting Orks, laying waste to the left flank Orkish defenses.
Coach Blargson roared from the dugout and the Howlers tightened their ranks, raising a wall of black armor and green flesh before the divas. The divas spooked. Blitzer Daniella slipped in a puddle of drool as the backed from Bunky Ledbutt and the ball lay on the ground as she was carried off the field. Bunky, amused by the fall, exitedly laughed a belly full, disturbing previously forgotten pockets of gas which blasted free with a roar. Surprised by the noise, Bunky lurched forward and ran Blitzer Molly 3.0 over, sadly, this left her on the ground at the trolls feet and she visibly gasped, turned a slight shade of green and promptly lost consciousness.
The Howlers caged loosely around the ball as Blitzer Skullcrakk swept in and grabbed it, but the Divas would not let them advance and linewoman Torry Wilson slammed into Skullcrakk, sending him and the ball flying, but the sight of Bunky grinning at her kept her from following up into the Howlers cage. Skullcrakk dusted himself off and recovered the ball and the Howlers swung out in front of him like a scythe, cutting down the Divas Sending Blitzer Trish out of the game. Skullcrakk charged down the left side but was quickly given chase to by a trio of Divas who sadly, were unable to shake the ball from Skullcrakk's grip and with seconds remaining on the clock, Skullcrakk stepped away from his unholy trinity and put the local boyz on the Scoreboard.
The second half started with the Divas making a short kick right behind the Howler line. The howlers quickly formed another wall and captain Blackheart raced up to his teammates, snatching the ball as he passed it. The Divas quickly ran around the ork line, 2 of them circling and closing in on Blackheart. Blackheart ordered a hammerstrike and the Howlers doubled back and circled around the divas defense, knocking them flying and creating a hole in the heart of the Howlers ranks, a hole that Blackheart quickly slipped through, narrowly escaping the pursuing Divas. The howlers ranks closed up behind him and as the melee raged at the scrimmage line, Blitzer Krotchkik escorted Blackheart into the Divas endzone. To the cheers of the fans, captain Blackheart shoved Krotchkik across the goal line and lobbed the ball at him, the rookie Blitzer caught it with a smile, scoring his first goal with the Howlers to the roar of his hometown fans.
With barely half the clock run out, the divas resolved to get on the board. Trying to punch through the left side again, the melee quickly turned against the divas and the Howlers threatened to recover their own kick but at the last second, linewoman Sable 3.0 scooped up the ball and dashed around the ork line headed for the scrimmage line. Blargson was heard to shout from the dugout "Split and sweep you undead loving idiots!! NOW!!! OK NOW!!! I SAID NOW!!!!" and the Howlers eventually responded, splitting the melee into two groups with one swinging round to cut the Divas advance and the other to slam into the Divas from the right. Sable retreated from several hits refusing to release the ball until Black Ork Braynzpilla slammed into her from behind and sent her ass over elbows into the air to land with an uncomfortable noise, unable to finish the game. The ball bounced wildly finally settling on the right side of the Divas zone where linewoman Torrie Wilson snapped it up and retreated from the Ork horde. She circled quickly down and around and fired a pass towards Blitzer Lita 2.0 who was open but as the ball sailed over Black Ork Legsnappa, Howlers star Skullcrakk leapt onto the blockers back and caught the ball landing safely on the ground. Torrie cursed Nuffle as Skullcrakk raced off full steam, crossing the Divas goal line. Bringing this game to a 3-0 final.
Coach Aceti returned just the head of locker room correspondant "Lucky" McGregor and so we assume he has no comment at this time, unless he stuffed a message inside McGregors mouth, someone check for a message! No? Ok, so Aceti had no comment.
Coach Blargson added: "Who are you, where's Lucky? Get out of my locker room before I have you killed!"
Butternut Limb Caramel!
Cadavers 3 Spermosaurs 1
Coach Dreadlord Edwin Fairfax IX,
Nipply Cadavers
The Cadavers won the coin toss and with a resounding thwack the Spermosaurs depleted line of 9 kicked the ball forward and though the Cadavers grabbed it up and developed a stable protection for Chewlips “Fresh Flesh” Spurtz, Grandpa Smurf’s closest threat for the C-Division’s overall Star player, the Spermosaurs quickly evened the odds up with 2 knockouts in their first turn, giving Coach Dreadlord Fairfax Edwin XI reason to believe he hadn’t scrubbed some his players down with enough Mr. Filthy de-cleaning agent. The setback was temporary, however, as the Cadavers raced towards the end zone despite being hotly pursued. The Spermosaurs fortunes took a dive when in one last effort to prevent the game’s first touchdown, rising Witch Elf Smurfette (rumoured to be carrying the GrandPa Smurf genes) went into a blinding frenzy that saw her accidentally lop her own head off instead of that of Chewlips as she chased him and the ball he was carrying. Fortunately, she executed a perfect pirouette, the head landing right in place and with but a few quick stitches the Spermosaurs team apothecary made her good as new. With less than half of the half gone, the Cadavers took full advantage and Chewlips ran into the endzone to score and bring the tally to 1 and nil.
Now receiving, the Spermosaurs drove into the undead and, caught somewhat off guard, and not being known for his ability to stretch those rotting tendons for that extra stride, Chewlips rolled head-long into the turf, allowing line elf NotSaint drove into the Cadavers’ end zone to tie the game at one apiece with nary another blocking attempt in sight.
Now thoroughly unhappy, the Cadavers returned with a vengeance and aimed themselves like a well-driven hammer into the dark-elf line as Chewlips once again whipped the ball off the ground and scampered forwards. Mummy Toopleye “Blood Cream” Softonbut effectively removed Tty from the game with a slug of a hit, badly hurting the elf, while Threepleye “Sticky Bits” Abzhorbuntzie seriously injured IosII when he mistakenly took the line elf’s errantly extended hand and attempted to shake it in good will, somehow tragically and innocently accidentally stepping on it and crushing it endlessly with the spikes on his foot-wrappings. Now somewhat disarrayed, the Spermosaurs attempted to create a better defensive line as the Undead players moved forward but managed only to further injure themselves when Pusher attempted to remove skeleton Krusti “Pickled Dandruff” Shauerskum from play by headbutting him, but missing and having his face go through the skeleton’s rib cage where bone fleas promptly gave him game-ending itches.
Nearing the end of the half, Threepleye took the opportunity of having rookie line elf Deltree’s back turned and swiftly turned him into mummy toe cheese, killing him instantly with one well-placed stomp as Chewlips ran into the end zone to score once again as the whistle blew on the half.
The second half devolved into a bit of tag as the Spermosaurs could only field 5 players – 4 having been unable to play in the first place and 4 others now out or having been killed. Although they received, the effort was somewhat in vain as the Cadavers took advantage of the low numbers and the elves’ inability to push through undead lines. Gaining control of the ball in order to allow Chewlips to score yet again, the Cadavers brought the score to what would be the final tally of 3-1 as the next drive was delayed by a three turn riot, ending anyone’s hopes of scoring one last time before the final whistle blew. This was a much-needed victory for the Cadavers, allowing them to re-cement themselves as contenders for the playoffs. The Dragon conference first-place Spermosaurs retain their spot, although with yet 2 more people gone – one out for a game and their rookie Deltree dead – and 4 team niggles on a roster of 11, the team must be feeling a pinch. Nonetheless, with low attendance and low fan support, the plucky Spermosaurs have managed to make themselves a force to be reckoned with and are expected to return to form in the next game or two.
When Orcs Collide: Howlers 2
Boozzhounds 1
Bunky Dragoncharmer, Cabalvision Sports
The first Half set the tone for this match up as both teams fought like devils for possession of the ball. The brawl took each team close to scoring first near the Howler line and finishing the half near the Boozzhounds. The brawl saw feared Boozzhound Johnny Red taken out of the game at the hands of Howler blocker Bonecrusha. Late in the half, captain Blackheart of the Howlers dove through a melee into the Boozzhound zone, putting the Howlers in the lead 1-0. The Boozzhounds however surprised the Howlers with a blindingly fast play that landed goblin Hyney Ken yards away from scoring with still enough time on the clock to even the odds, but the Howlers did not hesitate very long as coach Blargson promised everyone would attend the next performance of Elven boy band "New Sprigs in the Grove" if that goblin scored. Terrified, the Howlers went berserk, breaking through the Boozzhounds offensive line and pasting Hyney Ken onto the pitch, to be carried off unconscious as the whistle blew.
The second half started with the Boozzhounds showing they didn't need a goblin to move quickly, with a quick drive up the left side. A botched catch by Jacky Dee slowed the endeavor as the Howlers charged in, sending Lineork Mole Son and Blitzer Dewar off the pitch unconscious. Surrounded and outnumbered, Jacky Dee watched as Tequila broke from the melee, charged in, grabbed the ball and made a short pass to Dee who, using the momentum of the pass, slammed into and through the Ork defenders and broke for the goal line with Skaven like speed. The Howlers could only take their frustration out on the remainder of the Boozzhounds until Dee crossed the line, ending the drive and tying up the game at 1-1.
The half barely started, the Howlers set to receive and the Boozzhounds sent the kick deep into the Howlers zone. As the massive lines clashed, Bonecrusha informed Jacky Dee of his displeasure at the tie score and Dee was carried off the pitch by medics. The Howlers assumed control of the brawl and Blackheart strolled slowly up the center of the pitch, letting his teammates herd the Boozzhounds towards the right side. Once pushed towards the right, he jogged up and lobbed the ball to Skullcrakk who charged down the left side unopposed. The boozzhounds however were not as helpless as coach Blargson may have believed as they surged to their feet and broke several of their linemates free to run down Skullcrakk, knocking lineork Gazzbag unconscious in the process. Blitzer Macallan caught up with Skullcrakk mere yards from the Boozzhounds line and sent him to the pitch, recovering the ball. Skullcrakk didn't take this lying down however and leapt to his feet and charged Macallan as Black Ork Brainzpilla came to his aid, the ball sent flying, landed behind the looming Black Ork where Lineork Blackgums retrieved it, briefly as Dewar circled around and sent him flying sending the ball bouncing around the melee until it settled near Jimmy Bean who tried to escape Skullcrakk and recover the ball only to be kicked in the back and sent flying himself as the ball bounced off Macallan and finally settle on the pitch yards away from the Boozzhounds line with mere seconds remaining on the clock. With the seconds ticking away a fevered brawl erupted but before the clock had told it's tale, captain Blackheart dashed in, grabbed the ball and dove through an opening into the Boozzhounds end zone, scoring as the whistle blew and the stadium exploded into howls of victory, the hometown boyz clinching it in the final seconds.
After the game Coach JystDave had this to say about Blargson and his growing stable of Howlers:
"They're coming along nicely, coach Blargson and I spoke before the game and he invited us up to his den in the foothills of the Brokenfang range during the off season. We'll enjoy some tasty ale and he says there's a settlement of Wood Elves nearby we can raid, sounded like a great time, the boyz were pumped about it too. As for the game, we went out there in the spirit of the Ork tradition and waged war, we fought well and hard but in the end, our hosts won out, great game though I would have liked to kill at least one of them, out of respect for the fans."
Coach Blargson, had this to say:
"Great game! My boyz held their own against bigger Orks! I hope the Boozzhounds had fun, I probably would have been happier if we had killed one of them, you know, out of respect for their fans..."
Good Things Come in Threes:
Blighters 3 Drakkar 0
Coach Plaguelord Puswort, Blue
Blighters
The Blighters took the first kick and watched the Norsemen assemble way downfield and form a nigh impenetrable wall to prevent the awesomely fast Slipps from scoring immediately. The ploy worked but allowed the Blighters to heap bruisings on the Drakkar knocking out one and badly hurting another in a nasty foul that the ref couldn't help but see. The Blighters tried to make the Norsemen commit but they stoically held the line till Rat Ogre Mittens roared forward and despite having no teammates to back him up for some time managed to bore a hole in the line. However during the confusion the surprisingly fast Norse catchers knocked over Slipps and the ball came loose. Thrower Skuppers lobbed it up to Gutter Runner Snukkit who dashed in for the score.
The Drakkar came back with icy resolve and pounded the sacrificial scrimmagers into the turf and engaged the Blighters. Disaster struck when a sprinting catcher stumbled and crashed into the turf losing the ball. The keen Skrichtit snatched the ball and hurled it up-field novice linerat Krunked who scored in his very first game!
The Drakkar return looked promising until the ball carrier got too far ahead of his teammates and was stripped of the ball inches from the goal line. The Blighters held on to it, running faster than the norsemen and running out the clock to win it 3-0.
Victory by a Hair: Killers 1
Mates 0
Coach Stork, Mass Killers
After the riot, One-Eyed Willy caught a pass and ran deep into the Killers territory but lacked protection of his linemen and was blitzed by Power Collin. The ball was pushed into the crowd then thrown in the upper part of the mid-field, the humans forgetting to cover this region. Trying to get the ball to a player fast enough to score before the end of the half, the handoff was dropped, and the Mates tried to take it and pass it in the end zone but the blitzer was not able to catch the perfect pass for the TD and the half finished with no score.
The second half saw more action and a big melee in the middle of the field. The melee was caused by a the wildly bouncing ball, which was one second in the hands of the Killers, the next second in the hands of the Mates, and then on the ground. Finally, with some luck, the Mates were able to hold the ball, trying to move it to the Killers end zone but the Killers stopped them once more, taking possession right after but losing the ball again on a failed catch, leading to another struggle to get the ball. The ball was picked up by a human thrower who went down trying to go for it, opening the door for a victory for the Killers. One nicely done block by Lair pushed aside the only defenseman which could have an effect on the play, and the ball was taken by a chaos warrior, soon after given to Sara Fat who received the handoff and ran as fast as she could, diving to reach the end zone before the end of the game. The dive was barely enough to score relieving the incredible tension of the play.
At the end of the day, the Killers were victorious once more, but the games get closer and closer.
Yes I KNOW it's Week Ten: The Week Eight Review
The Frog Machine suffered a serious setback in round 8, losing 2-1 to the Short and Surly, the Chaos Dwarven team smashing their way to 3rd place in Dragon Conference with the victory, inflicting heavy damage to the Skaven team. Agamemnon the Horny was in fine form, inflicting 5 casualties in one match for the second game in a row, including the fatal goring of linerat Krasslik Setzmo. The death of the linerat came moments after super-star gutter runner Skratsquick Terzo went down on a badly timed dodge in a vicious scrum and was subsequently trampled to death during the Surly's successful return drive in the first half [Ed: with 83 SPP and a 25 game vteran, Skratsquick becomes the most experienced casualty, and first star player dead in the league thus far]. The issue remained in doubt in the second half after the Machine nearly stole the ball away from the Surly juggernaut, but superior weight won out, Hobgoblin Assmonkey scoring the winning touchdown at the tail end of the 2nd.
The Frothy Steins squeaked into the number one spot in Dragon Conference with a solid 3-0 win over the Avelorn Paladins. The Steins were in top shape, making solid drives, rookie line-elf The Replacement getting killed in the opening stages of the game, Bumpy receiving the hand-off to score. The fans helped out in the second half, rushing the Paladins half of the pitch, badly hurting 3 and stunning 2, the Steins profiting from the confusion to score again. In the final quarter of the game, the Steins were able to shut down the Paladins final scoring bid (the Paldins able to field only 7 players at this point) and score once more, Bumpy picking up the last two touchdowns as well for a personal hat-trick. In a new conference after the match, Prince Tyrion announced that he had heard the irresistible call of the sea, and would therefore be passing into the west. With Prince Tyrion's sudden departure, the Paladin face a management crisis. What will happen?
The Blistering Barnacles and the Creeping Flesh fought each other to a 1-1 standstill, the Barnacles receiving in the 1st half, Stil Slitherin scoring an early touchdown. The Barnacles were able to shut down the Flesh return drive, but attrition in the second half took it's toll and after a fierce struggle the Flesh broke through decisively, ghoul Demented scoring the tying touchdown with less than a minute on the clock. Both teams have gone winless this season, and that trend only continues with this match, the Flesh regeneration failure woes continuing as zombie Rotten literally came to pieces after being tripped up during 2nd half action...
The Blue Blighters managed to eke out a 2-2 tie vs the bloodthirsty Mass Killers as they chase them for the #1 spot in Frog Conference. The 1st went very badly for the Blighters, with 7 players knocked unconscious and 1 badly hurt over the course of play, the Killers beastwoman Sara Fat scoring a touchdown at the tail end of the half. The Blighters rallied in the final seconds, executing a quick snap with only seconds on the clock, gutter runner Slipps receiving the ball and sprinting to the Killers end zone before they could move a muscle. The speedy Slipps showed off his long legs once more in the second half, picking up a second touchdown just minutes into the half, but things went south again for the rest fo the half as the frustrated Killers threw their weight around something fierce, first ogre Paul Pot slaughtering linerat Krunks, then dreaded beastman The Jackal eviscerated linerat Skunky. The Killers once again ran roughshod over the Blighters, reducing them to only 5 players on the pitch, Gorsky the Russian Dancer scoring the tying touchdown. With enough time to win it, the Blighters once more sent Slipps racing for the end zone, but the fatigue was clearly starting to take his toll as he tripped and fell stunned only a few yards short, the game thus ending in a tie.
The Styg's Mates came out strong in round 8, picking up their first win of the season, a solid 3-1 victory against the DragonBowl champs the Brimstone Bonestealers. The Mates opened up with an early touchdown, scored by star blitzer Barbossa after a short struggle near the Stealers goal line. The Stealers offensive line proved insufficient to protect their ball carrier on the return drive, The Mates blitzers sacking him and again collecting the ball after a short brawl, Francis Drake scoring the 2nd Mates touchdown at the end of the half. Attrition had taken it's toll on the Mates, however, and with only eight players fit to take the field in the 2nd half, they could not prevent ghoul Fangmouth Earchewer from reaching their end zone to score. On the offensive again, the Mates struggled forward, finally successfully forcing the wide zone after a close fought battle at centerfield, Barbossa carrying the ball in just before the final whistle to make it 3-1.
The Blood Drakkar chalked up a 3-2
victory over the Wild Hunt in a fast moving running game. The two
teams traded touchdowns in the first and in the second Wychwethyl and Otsea
scoring for the Hunt, Odin Bellegaf scoring tice for the Drakkar. With a
quarter of the regulation time left, the Hunt received, but a failed pass by
Skaw2 put the ball in jeopardy. After a short brawl, the ball bounced into
the hands of blitzer Knut Polygraf at the edge of the melee, who dashed over
to Odin Bellegaf, handing off, Odin sprinting into the end zone to score the
winning touchdown and complete a personal hat-trick with less than a minute
to go. A close game right down to the wire...
The rampaging Horny Babes defeated the first place Straight to Videos 3-2 in a shocking upset. The match started inauspiciously for the Babes on their first offense; rookie beastbabe Killer Screech charged head down at Videos star catcher "I love it when a plan comes together", but the nimble elf grabbed the beastbabe by the horns and twisted mightily, breaking her neck, killing her. The Videos, however, did not expect the subsequent handoff, passing play that the Babes executed perfectly, chaos warrior Poison Ivy scoring the first touchdown of the match. The Babes then proceeded to sack line-elf "Royale with Cheese" on the videos offence, longlegged beastbabe Meatpuppet making off with the ball to make it 2-0. The Videos rallied somewhat in the 2nd half, Treeman "Not so Tiny Tim" taking the field and going toe to toe with the fearsome Gora the Impaler. The Videos managed to score twice in the 2nd half, but the Babes punctuates their successes with a touchdown of their own scored by Scorpiana, putting the game out of reach. An impressive showing for the Babes, who are really starting to hit their stride...
The Rongeurs Flamboyants decisively crushed the Harem 4-1, repeatedly turning over Amazon attempts to score. Despite linerat Rat Dégout getting knocked into the crowd early on and tragically mauled to death, the Flamboyants were able to turn over the first two Harem scoring attempts, allowing only one Harem touchdown near the end of the first. The Flamboyants profited from their reception in the 2nd to score again with characteristic Skaven speed, turning over yet another Harem drive on the return kick to score their 4th touchdown, then suceeding in shutting down the last Harem scoring attempt in the final minutes of the game.
The Rage Sharks extended their winning streak to 4 games with a close 2-1 victory over the Putrid Swamp Boozzhounds. Although the Sharks fielded Nobbla Blackwart, he was killed before he could even start his chainsaw by Hounds blitzer Jimmy Beam who outflanked the Sharks line to hit him from behind. In the subsequent brawl, the Hounds stole the ball and made off with it, blitzer Jacky Dee scoring shortly after the halfway mark. The Sharks made a solid return drive, penetrating the Hounds defence line, allowing beastman Khrom Da Bomb Goering to pick up the tying touchdown with a minute to spare. The second half was a terrific melee as the two teams wrestled for control, but it was the Sharks who came away victorious as beastman Trogdor scored the winning touchdown late in the half. A match that certainly could have gone either way!
The Screaming Midgets picked up their first season victory with a 1-0 win over the Lustria Divas. The Divas suffered a serious setback in the first half as veteran linewoman Molly was killed just after receiving the ball when longbeard Kuir Dimitri rammed into her full force, breaking six of her ribs and fatally puncturing both lungs. Kuir Dimitri amazingly found himself holding the ball. The Midgets were able to cover the ball until the halftime whistle sounded, despite the Divas frantic efforts to dislodge them. In the second half the Midgets drove forward, again inflicting a tragic loss on the Divas as longbeard Herr Hut gave linewoman Xena 3.0 a tremendous bear hug, breaking her spine (she later died from internal inujries). Attrition mounted to the point where the Divas could no longer hold back their opponents, despite amazing efforts, and Midgets runner Longjohn Steammy picked up the winning touchdown at the end of a hard fought game.
The Mad Howlers added to the pain of the Banner Guard Bloods, defeating them 2-1. Although the Bloods picked up an early lead with a daring steal on their first kick, the Howlers were able to power their way to tie up the game just before the end of the first half on a touchdown by blitzer Spleenlik. Attrition having reduced the Bloods to nine effectives in the second half, the Howlers quickly dominated the pitch, stopping a desperate attempt by lion warrior Charles to score and going on the offensive. As the play moved down the field, Charles was blindsided by black orc blocker Bonecrusha who lived up to his name, killing the veteran lion warrior with a mighty double fisted blow to the shoulderblades. Little remained to prevent the Howlers from scoring, blitzer Skullcrakk scoring the winning touchdown. The death of Charles marked the Bloods' 6th death in 8 games, a record that is not envied by any team in the league...
The Drakehead Smashers and the
Slicers and Bad Dicers battled to a very rare 0-0 tie (the second
such in 220 regular season games). Neither team seemed able to gain the
upper hand in any decisive manner, nor even able to hang on to the ball for
more than a minute or two. Although the game was very rough there was a lack
of crowd pleasing injuries leading to mixed fan response. Some were
pleased to witness such a rare event, other simply felt that they had been
solidly cheated. The Slicers were just happy that the number of touchdowns
were kept down to a number they could count to...
The Bloodpie Bakers won a pyhrric 2-0 victory over the Hoarey Dervishes as a huge 80,000 strong crowd looked on. Wresting control of the ball away form the little guys after an extended struggle in the first half, the Bakers manhandled the ball to the Dervishes end zone, losing hobgoblin Tenderloin dead just before the touchdown, when Dervishes ogre Percy brained him with a terrific punch. Receiving in the second half, the Bakers caged solidly, working their way across the field, the Halflings unable to penetrate their cage, as Bob the Troll went toe to toe with Treeman Wesley. The two locked together in a literal death struggle until the middle of the half when Wesley grabbed a firm hold of Bob and delivered a headbutt that drove the Troll's nosebone deep into his brain. The troll fell backwards with a crash, stone dead. The Bakers quickly recovered from their shock, however, and drove on, Pastry Boy scoring his second touchdown late in the half. The Dervishes just did not have their playbook together despite their big guy's heavy hitting, and a last ditch fling attempt failed with Wesley fumbling poor young Ted.
In a violence packed Dragon Conference match, the Spermosaurs beat the Funeral March 3-0. Both teams took heavy damage on the bitterly contested pitch, the Funeral March losing black orc blocker Bug Hurt dead after line-elf IosII executed a dark-elven tiger claw maneuver that tore out the massive orc's throat, and further lineorc Six-Fingers suffering a smashed hand (how apropos) and blitzer Dim Witted suffering a damaged back. Though the Spermosaurs managed to shut out the March completely, witch elf Smurfette scoring a hat trick of touchdowns, they suffered greatly as well in the meat-grinder, Ashbit suffering a fractured arm, Xworm a groin strain, Petrol Magna a smashed hand, and star witch elf Grandpa Smurf a broken jaw. This is what Bloodbowl is all about folks!
The Sylvan Supersonics edged out the Nipply Cadavers with a 2-1 victory at the Nippledome Arena. The Sonics shut down the initial Cadavers drive, knocking out three Cadavers and badly hurting one in an unexpected tour de force, wardancer Wild Woody gaining possession of the ball and blitzing his way to the Cadavers end zone to score late in the half. The Sonics profited quickly from their second half reception, all but putting the game away with Wild Woody's second touchdown. The decimated Cadavers nonetheless rallied to score a late game touchdown, Raggy "The Ghoul Next Door" Umbilicles scoring despite a complete absence of heavy hitting mummy support. With the final score 2-1, commentators speculated how much of the Sonics success was due to the suspicious pre-game attempt (by a woould-be assassin decked all in green and armed with a bread knife) on mummy Toopleye "Blood Cream" Softonbut's life (or unlife as it were) leaving his nerves to jangled to play.
The goblin Picken Flicks managed to eke out a 2-2 draw match against the Division C leaders the Noir Desir. The Flicks managed to score an early touchdown on a running play, Jeffrey sneaking by the Desir last line of defence to score. The crowd immediately rioted, order not being restored until the start of the second half, when the Desir made up for lost time, dominating the play and scoring twice blitzers No Sif and Vlad El Negro picking up the touchdowns. With less than a minute left, the Flicks resorted to a fling play, goblin aerial torpedo Steve getting launched by troll Nadia, sailing over the heads of the Desir defenders, making a perfect landing with 15 yards of the end zone, and trotting in to score the tying touchdown seconds before the final whistle. What a play!
The Screaming Vikings ended their bad luck streak with a crushing 4-0 victory over the Dead Zone. The 64,000 fans in attendance were well pleased by the level of violence as the the two teams fought thier way across the picth, the Vikings shutting the Zone down at every turn, Catchlaballson scoring two touchdowns, Dansonson and Harrelsonson picking up one each. During the second drive, wight Barry was mortally wounded by blitzer Punchlenezson, failing to regenerate. The Zone responded by killing lineman Normson, Seka delivering the coup de grace with a massive haymaker. The Vikings had the last word, however, as they did on each drive, lineman Dansonson literally shattering skeleton Courtney with a terrific full-on blitz. The Vikings thoroughly dominated the match, and seem intent at nipping at the heels of the Noir Desir for the #1 spot in the conference and division...
The Get Shorty were forced to concede
their round 8 match to the Dead-on Balls Inaccurate after severe
warpstorms scattered the team through several dimensions as they were on
their way to the match. It took 4 and a half weeks for coach Doc Hott
to reassemble his discombobulated but fortunately unharmed players, by which
time everyone had already gone home and the match had been called in favour
of the Inaccurate. the Inaccurate walked away with a grand total of
30k in winnings from the measly gate, a group of fans having stormed the
strongbox to pick up a refund after the Shorty proved to be no shows.
The Shorty are back together fine form, and are due to play their round 9
and 10 matches without issue.
Bug Fix'o'Rama: JavaBowl 7.1a Released!
JavaBowl 7.1a released like a bug-fixing bomb, packed with juicy issue-correcting goodness! Get it in the downloads section here!
- Should fix the BALL & CHAIN problems.
- Should fix the pass interception problems.
- Should fix those other blocking problems causing a dodge roll.
- Should fix the handicap problems (smelling salts, morley's and virus combo, doom and gloom).
- Remi D. Star Platinum contributed more new icons: Wights, Rotters, and new Elf team. The included icons.ini is updated to use these, so if you have a custom icons.ini file you might want to copy over the changes to your file.
- For those people on Win98se that have lockups when you block someone and there is only one square to push to, you now have a "Auto Push" option to turn off. Turning "Auto Push" off will prevent the game from auto pushing the blocked player, which seems to be causing the problem on Win98se. This option will be on by default so unless you have this problem you should just leave it on (which is how jbb has worked all along).
It's the latest greatest! Don't hesitate, update!
Slaughterriffic! League Death Rate Skyrocketing
Congratulations, Dragonbowlers!! The 2nd season graveyard is rapidly filling up, last night (with Lustria Divas linewoman Molly 2.0 slaughtered by Poison Ivy of the Horny Babes on her first game out), matching in number of corpses the 1st season graveyard (including all exhibition and playoff matches).
Last season there were 65 deaths in 212 games, a death rate of 0.31 deaths per game. A total of 428 SPP (an average of 6.6 per player) were taken to the grave, comprised of 45 td, 34 cs, 31 cp, 2 in, and 38 mvp, dead players having completed an average of 5.9 games apiece.
This season at roughly the halfway point with 77 games complete I am happy to say that the death rate has skyrocketed to 0.84 deaths per game, nearly tripling. The calibre of the corpses has increased impressively as well, with 628 SPP biting the dust (an average of 9.5 per player) comprised of 82 td, 42 cs, 70 cp, 3 in, and 42 mvp, dead players having completed an average of 9.3 games apiece.
This season also saw the death of the first star-level player in the league, Frog Machine's Skratsquick Terzo with 83 SPP (24 td, 1 cs, 2 cp, 1 in, 1 mvp) and 25 games under his belt going to the grave in round 8.
Keep up the good work!
DragonSpawn: Olga the Ogre is Expecting
A press conference was held earlier this morning by a spokesperson for Olga the Ogre, model and former Bloodbowl teammate for the Division C Picken Flicks. In it, the spokesperson confirmed the rumours that Olga the Ogre is pregnant and is expecting sometime in mid July, 2004. Olga is healthy, in good spirits and is looking forward to motherhood.
Olga's condition was a major factor in her sudden decision to leave the spotlight at the beginning of her promising Bloodbowl career. Having been spotted by a scout while seriously injuring multiple opponents during the regular minor league season, Olga was given the opportunity to sign on with the prestigious Picken Flicks headed by coach Dragon.
Rumours regarding the expectant father have also been confirmed. Coach Dragon smilingly admitted to reporters that he is a proud father-to-be. When asked if he was hoping for a boy or girl, he replied:
"Boy or girl, Gobbo or Ogre. So long as it's healthy and has all the required appendages, we'll be the happiest parents in the world."
The Sound of Death: JavaBowl 7.1 Released!
JavaBowl 7.1 Released! Partial Handicap table! New Sounds! STUFF! Get it HERE!
- Added a partial handicap table with 20 results and the ability to customize the handicap table using a handicap.ini file. See the readme.txt section 54 for full details.
- Added two new injury sounds. Now there is a KO sound, and BH/SI sound, and a RIP sound.
- Check Bugzilla to see bug fixes for this release.
- I'm off to Canada for a week of snowboarding!! So I won't be around for bug reports. Hopefully if something bad is found in this release, people will keep playing test games so that when I get back I can fix all problems in this release at one time. Thus avoiding possible b, c, d, etc versions. And if the problems are found in the handicap table results it is possible to disable the offending results, or disable the entire handicap table.
Let's give it a try... if there are major problems revert to 7.0d.
For now, disable the Handicap features until we've had a chance to look
'em over.