| # | Player Name | Position | Ma | St | Ag | Av | Player Skills | Inj | Cp | TD | Int | Cas | Mvp | SPP | Cost |
|---|
| 1 | The New Milo Bloom | Human Blitzer | 7 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Block | | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 90000 |
| 2 | Quiche | Human Lineman | 6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | | | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 50000 |
| 3 | Steve Dallas | Human Lineman | 6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Block,Tackle | | 1 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 17 | 50000 |
| 4 | Hodge Podge Jr. | Human Blitzer | 8 | 3 | 3 | 8 | +ma,Block,Guard,Tackle | | 0 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 39 | 90000 |
| 5 | Lola Granola | Human Lineman | 6 | 3 | 3 | 7 | Block,Kick | | 1 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 3 | 27 | 50000 |
| 6 | Jean Kirkpatrick | Human Lineman | 6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Block | | 1 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 13 | 50000 |
| 7 | Oliver Wendell Jones II | Human Thrower | 6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Hail Mary Pass,Pass,Sure Hands | | 8 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 13 | 70000 |
| 8 | Rosebud | Human Blitzer | 6 | 3 | 4 | 8 | +ag,SKILL,Block,Guard,Strip Ball | n | 0 | 9 | 0 | 2 | 4 | 51 | 90000 |
| 10 | Limekiller | Human Blitzer | 7 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Block,Guard,Mighty Blow,Tackle | | 0 | 8 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 37 | 90000 |
| 11 | Cutter John | Human Catcher | 8 | 2 | 3 | 7 | Block,Catch,Dodge,Sprint,Sure Feet,Sure Hands | | 0 | 18 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 61 | 70000 |
| 12 | Dr. Legrunt | Human Catcher | 8 | 2 | 3 | 7 | Catch,Dodge,Dump Off,Nerves Of Steel | | 2 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 20 | 70000 |
| 13 | Bill The Cat | Human Thrower | 6 | 4 | 3 | 8 | +st,Accurate,Pass,Safe Throw,Strong Arm,Sure Hands | | 39 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 51 | 70000 |
| 14 | Sen. Bedfellow | Human Lineman | 6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Block | | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 14 | 50000 |
| 15 | G.P. Snorklewhacker | Ogre | 4 | 5 | 2 | 9 | Big Guy,Block,Bone Head,Break Tackle,Mighty Blow,Thick Skull,Throw Team-Mate | | 0 | 1 | 0 | 9 | 1 | 26 | 120000 |
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| Team Name: | Bloom County DeathTongues | Re-Rolls: | 7 |
| Race: | Human | Fan Factor: | 9 |
| Team Rating: | 252 | Assistant Coaches: | 0 |
| Treasury: | 285000 | Cheerleaders: | 0 |
| Coach: | Opus | Apothecary: | Yes |