July 8, 2003
 
Bluebutts beat Barnacles 3-2
 
The Blargburg Bluebutts beat the Barnacles 3-2 yesterday with a touchdown scored in the final seconds of the second half. When asked to comment, Coach Blargson replied;
 
"I'm a little confused about some of the decisions. Sum Dizzy carried our team to victory scoring all 3 of our downs yet Jack, who basically sat on the bench all game after getting injured early on in the first half was awarded VP. I'm guessing the ref is still upset that Sum Dizzy rejected his offer for dinner... and killed his dog... and cat...and parents...and kids, some people are so petty."
 
 
July 7, 2003
 
Flurry of Last Minute Games
 
The week ended with a flurry of games being played in close succession, leaving little time for teams and their players to recuperate between games. As a result, there has been a dramatic rise in injuries, sprains, and fractures. Apothecaries are definitely working hard for their wages.
 
The Blargburg Bluebutts started off by beating the Lustria Divas 2-0. Blarg Blargson was available for comments after the game;
 
"Sometimes games are about pride, sometimes they're about revenge and sometimes, just sometimes, when everything lines up just right, it's all about the gold. We needed a big financial win today and we got it, allowing us to bring the 3rd of the Ass brothers into the fold. Expect to see Fat Ass on the field as of next game, and one day perhaps, we can get Kissmy onto the team and have the entire family reunited."
 
The Frothy Steins beat the Frog Machine 2-1, amidst forty-six thousand screaming fans. The Machine managed to hold thier own against the Steins, despite an apparent lack of bodies as the match progressed. Coach SoapyFrog Nullset was heard with the following statement;
 
"This is the third winless match for the Machine, suggesting that perhaps the "Great Frog" has not been properly appeased before the game. Next time, we will sacrifice two frog virgins to the "Great Frog", rather than just one."
 
The Lustria Divas followed up thier earlier loss against the Bluebutts by thrashing the Horny Babes 3-0. The Babes nutritionalist suggested that this third loss in a row was a direct result in a lack of protein in the Beastbabes' diet. She was promptly sacrificed to the Dark Gods, slaughtered, and fed to the team. 
 
Finally, the Crypt Crusaders went toe to hoof with the Short & Surly, resulting in a 2-0 win for the undead team. Crusaders MVP Rot N. Bitz was quoted after the game;
 
"What a game. I think it all came together when we KOed on of their Bull Centaurs, in the middle of the first half. Just tell me one thing, why do they keep eating all the fans?"
 
 
July 3, 2003 Update
 
Javabowl Replay
 
New to the downloads section is the Javabowl Replayer. It allows you to watch a replay of any previously played game. Simply select the log file of the game, sit back on your couch, grab a brewskie, and watch the game. Log files of all league games will be made available to watch in the Matches section as soon as I find them all.
 
 
July 3, 2003
 
New Javabowl client
 
A new Javabowl client (version 6.0) has been posted in the Downloads section. Please update your clients. This client will do everything except;
- results from handicap rolls
- wizards
- secret weapons
- make you coffee in the morning
If your match requires any of the above, contact the commissioner to arrange for your match to be played on the Bloodbowl boardgame (yes, there is actually a boardgame with funky miniatures. It's not just a computer game).
 
 
July 2, 2003 Update
 
Automated Die Roller
 
For your continued pleasure, a new Die Roller (can be seen on the side menu) has been added to our site. This independant site will automatically roll the die for you and send the results to the commissioner with a confirmation link. I will be posting simple instructions (in the downloads section) about how to use the die roller. The instructions should be complete and posted tomorrow.
 
July 2, 2003
 
Violence Increases in the League
 
Last week's doubleheader resulted in a pair of deaths, much to the delight of the fans. The first game resulted in the Blistering Barnacles thrashing the Horny Babes 4-0. The second game was a 2-0 victory for the Crypt Crusaders over the Frothy Steins. Coach Dragon was pleased that a fresh dwarven corpse was added to his roster. He was heard saying;
 
"Duff Longbeard will help flesh out our team (pun intended) and bring some much needed experience to our game" 
 
Frog Machine and Short & Surly tied 1-1 in another game late last week. Injuries abounded for both sides and team apothecaries were hard at work. Kaskat Sesto suffered a fractured leg and will be missing the next game, as will his Machine teammates Throtvile Primo (groin injury) and Tisquat Quinzo (smashed ankle).
 
"They hurt one of ours, we eat one of theirs" commented Funky Fleetfoot, coach of the Short & Surly 
 
June 24, 2003
 
New Section on Bloodbowl Website
Additional sections are being added to the Bloodbowl website. The POSTS section is where you can find all the latests services, bounties, loans, and other information straight from the Team Coaches to you. To submit anything for the POSTS section, simply submit an official statement to the league Commissioner. The section is currently live and the Lustria Divas are the first to post! Check it out.

The GRAVEYARD section is being dug up soon. As the name implies, the GRAVEYARD is where we lay to rest our fallen players. It is a place for them to be remembered. Please note that access will be denied to all Necromancers.

Finally, there are rumours of a Forums section. This will be the section where we can discuss everything league related and bloodbowl related. Hopefully, this will also be the place to post the time for your matches so that spectators can watch the game, drink a bud,... true, true.

 

June 23, 2003
 
Surly Feast on Fans
The Short and Surly beat the Frothy Steins 1-0 yesterday in front of fifty nine thousand fans. Chaos ensued when the victorious team was accidentally let loose in the stands. Approximately two thousand fans were badly mutilated, trampled, and ingested. While struggling to get away from the insanity, one screaming fan stated;

"What is wrong with those Chaos Dwarfs? They're crazy! They're insane! They're psychopathic! They're homicidal! Where can I get a signed t-shirt of Dorin Kneecrusha? He's the best..." 

 

June 20, 2003
 
BlueButts nix Babes
The Blargson BlueButts beat the Horny Babes 4-0 yesterday in front of seventy thousand excited fans. When asked to comment on the day's events, Coach Blargson replied;

"I wasn't terribly pleased by the quick and viscious removal of the Bitch sisters from the game. I'm just glad that they managed to take that Minotaur down with them. Shame they didn't kill him... Good thing the sudden absence of female flesh allowed the rest of my boys to stop oggling and start concentrating. Jack Ass stepped up and demonstrated the sort of leadership qualities I find vital in Bloodbowl, or seige warfare."

 
 
June 19, 2003
 
Three Dead in Barnacles - Divas Match
Fifty three thousand screaming fans watched in excitement as three players died yesterday in a heated match between the Blistering Barnacles and Lustria Divas. The record number of fatalities promises to make this a very interesting Bloodbowl season. The following is an except from the post game interview.

Hello sportsfans, Skip Nowhere from BloodBowl Network News here with an exclusive interview of Cobra Commander, MVP of the Blistering Barnacles' 4-0 trouncing of the Lustria Divas. Mr. Commander, how do you feel about your first victory and about the loss of team-mate Snake Bandit?

"Sssssimpleton! The Joessss, err Divassss were no match for our sssupieriority. They were but a minor ssssteping sssstone to our future ssssucccccesssss. And assss for the tassssty morsssel once called Ssssnake Bandit. He went down nicccely with a glasssss of chardonnay ... now buzzss off vermin before I make you desssssssert!"

June 17, 2003

 
First Game of the Season
 
The first game of the 2003 season was held today at the NecroDome, home of the Crypt Crusaders. Thirty four thousand screaming, moaning, and wailing fans showed up to support the local heroes as they battled the Frog Machine on the Bloodbowl field. Action and carnage were plentiful as the Crusaders managed to score the match's only touchdown late in the second half.
 
In the post game interview, Dee Khay a Crusaders' wight and voted most valued player for the game was quoted as saying
 
"This was a very difficult first match for us, but we are pleased with the results. It was certainly good experience for the team and we learned alot from the match. The Machine gave as good as they got, but luck was on our side. Now please excuse me, I think I've got some rat fur stuck in between my fangs."
 
 
June 12, 2003
 
Blargburg Bluebutts Lineup Change
 
Coach Blarg Blargson, of the Blargburg Bluebutts, announced today a few last minute changes to the cheeky cheaters' starting lineup. This comes as a result of last week's scrimage against the Lustria Divas.
 
While trying to revive the Bluebutts' Witch Elf Sum Dum Bitch, who had taken a nasty spill, the apothecary allegedly touched areas he wasn't supposed to. Although Sum Dum was unconscious at the time, her twin sister Sum Dizzy was in the stands. Upon observing the apothacary's actions, Sum Dizzy leapt onto the field and charged the apothecary. Several Lustria players, unaware of precisely what was happening, tried to stop Sum Dizzy who dodged through 2 Divas and unleashed a viscious double strike to the Apothecary's face, sending him reeling back to an early grave and whipping the fans into a frenzy the likes of which had never been seen at a Bluebutts game. Sum Dizzy was immediately signed to a contract for the season.
 
With the loss of his Apothecary, coach Blargson also decided to replace two of his linesmen with the fabled Ass brothers, Jack and Dum taking the field as blitzers for the Bluebutts.
 
Attendance at Bluebutt exhibition games since the changes has more than doubled, which Blargson claims is entirely due to his roguish good looks and fantastic burping skills.
 
 
June 11, 2003 Update
 
Revised 2003 Season Schedule Posted
 
A revised 2003 Season Schedule was created earlier today with the help Coach Steve. Once again, the schedule was randomly created and is posted in the "Matches" section. Go take a look to see when you're playing and feel free to email the commissioner with any public challenges, heckles, and bounties that you would like made public.
 
At a press conference held today, Coach Steve issued a statement regarding the recent termination of the Frothy Steins' Team Apothacary from the team roster.
 
"Personality conflicts aside, we were sorry to have to let him go. However, we just didn't find his services crucial to the lifeblood of the team."
 
Coach Steve didn't deny accusations that the Steins' apothacary was let go due to allegations that the team apothacary did not, in fact, enjoy consuming beer.Whatever the reason, with the loss of the apothacary the popularity of the Frothy Steins has risen dramatically and attendance at the Steins most recent exhibition match has doubled. The Steins' public is clearly behind Coach Steve on this move.
 
 
June 11, 2003
 
New Teams Join 
 
With the start of the 2003 season looming on the horizon, three more teams have qualified to join the League. The Horny Babes , a Chaos team the likes of which none have seen before, joined early yesterday morning. Quoted earlier today, coach Zhul the Destroyer said;
 
"We were just waiting for Gora the Impaler, our Minotaur player, to finish its meal. We'll join now. By the way, that plump, juicy Halfing team we met on the way here won't be joining up this season".
 
The second team to join the League is Frog Machine , a skaven team which dedicates it's spare time to worshipping the Great Frog, creator of the Universe. Coach Soapy Frog was heard explaining his beliefs;
 
"We will prevail. We are FrogRats. No wait. We are RatFrogs. Err.. We are FrRatogs. Or something like that."
 
The final team to enter the League yesterday was none other than the Short & Surly , a "not-very-happy" group of Chaos Dwarves. Only once during the press conference could something resembling a smile be seen on Coach Funky Fleetfoot's face; when the subject of death and destruction was brought up. The coach was quoted handing out this warning to the other teams in the League
 
"Better wear a cup, Laddies!"
 
All three teams can be located in the locker room for interviews.
 
With the unexpected entries of the three new teams, the League commissioner will be posting a revised 2003 season schedule within the next day or two. Be sure to check here later today. 
 
 
June 9, 2003
 
DragonBowl Season to Begin Next Week!
 
With the help of Lord Slitharus, the season schedule has been randomly created and is now posted in the "Matches" section. The season is scheduled to last 10 weeks and there will be three games per week. Please read the house rules concerning scheduling of your matches. Other house rule changes include revoking of the controversial "Permanent Star Players" rule.
 
 
June 1, 2003
 
The proxy server is now fully operational. This will allow two teams to play each other online with the Java client, without having to poke holes in their firewalls. For detailed instructions, simply download the info from the Downloads section.
 
 
May 30, 2003
 
Not to be outdone by a group of "hot Amazon Babes", The Blargburg Bluebutts have now joined the League. When referring to the Lustria Divas, coach Blargson has been quoted as saying;
 
 "My Dark Elven team is ready to show them what sacking is really all about. We give a whole new meaning to the term 'fouling'".
 
 
May 29, 2003
 
The Lustria Divas have now joined the League. This all-woman team is a definite favorite among the public, as can be seen by the large groups of devoted fans who show up at every game. Welcome Divas!
 
 
May 18, 2003
 
There's a new patch out (5.7d) for the Javabowl client. You can download it from the "Downloads" section.
 
 
May 12, 2003
 
We currently have 3 teams (check out Da Locker Rume). Our plans are to begin the season when we have 6 teams. So hurry up and join in. :)