July 8, 2003
Bluebutts beat Barnacles 3-2
The Blargburg
Bluebutts beat the Barnacles 3-2 yesterday with a touchdown scored in the
final seconds of the second half. When asked to comment, Coach Blargson
replied;
"I'm a little confused about some of the decisions. Sum
Dizzy carried our team to victory scoring all 3 of our downs yet Jack, who
basically sat on the bench all game after getting injured early on in the
first half was awarded VP. I'm guessing the ref is still upset that Sum
Dizzy rejected his offer for dinner... and killed his dog... and cat...and
parents...and kids, some people are so petty."
July 7, 2003
Flurry of Last Minute Games
The week ended
with a flurry of games being played in close succession, leaving little time
for teams and their players to recuperate between games. As a result, there
has been a dramatic rise in injuries, sprains, and fractures. Apothecaries
are definitely working hard for their wages.
The Blargburg Bluebutts started off by
beating the Lustria Divas 2-0. Blarg Blargson was available
for comments after the game;
"Sometimes
games are about pride, sometimes they're about revenge and sometimes, just
sometimes, when everything lines up just right, it's all about the gold. We
needed a big financial win today and we got it, allowing us to bring the 3rd
of the Ass brothers into the fold. Expect to see Fat Ass on the field as of
next game, and one day perhaps, we can get Kissmy onto the team and have the
entire family reunited."
The Frothy Steins beat the Frog
Machine 2-1, amidst forty-six thousand screaming fans. The Machine
managed to hold thier own against the Steins, despite an apparent lack
of bodies as the match progressed. Coach SoapyFrog Nullset was heard with
the following statement;
"This is the third winless match for the Machine,
suggesting that perhaps the "Great Frog" has not been properly appeased
before the game. Next time, we will sacrifice two frog virgins to the "Great
Frog", rather than just one."
The Lustria Divas followed up thier earlier
loss against the Bluebutts by thrashing the Horny Babes
3-0. The Babes nutritionalist suggested that this third loss in a row was a
direct result in a lack of protein in the Beastbabes' diet. She was
promptly sacrificed to the Dark Gods, slaughtered, and fed to the team.
Finally, the Crypt Crusaders went toe to
hoof with the Short & Surly, resulting in a 2-0 win for the
undead team. Crusaders MVP Rot N. Bitz was quoted after the game;
"What a game. I think it all came together when we KOed on
of their Bull Centaurs, in the middle of the first half. Just tell me one
thing, why do they keep eating all the fans?"
July 3, 2003
Update
Javabowl
Replay
New to the
downloads section is the Javabowl Replayer. It allows you to watch a replay
of any previously played game. Simply select the log file of the game, sit
back on your couch, grab a brewskie, and watch the game. Log files of all
league games will be made available to watch in the Matches section as soon
as I find them all.
July 3, 2003
New
Javabowl client
A new Javabowl
client (version 6.0) has been posted in the Downloads section. Please update
your clients. This client will do everything except;
- results from
handicap rolls
- wizards
- secret weapons
- make you
coffee in the morning
If your match requires any of the above, contact the
commissioner to arrange for your match to be played on the Bloodbowl
boardgame (yes, there is actually a boardgame with funky miniatures. It's
not just a computer game).
July 2, 2003
Update
Automated Die Roller
For your
continued pleasure, a new Die Roller (can be seen on the side menu) has been
added to our site. This independant site will automatically roll the die for
you and send the results to the commissioner with a confirmation link. I
will be posting simple instructions (in the downloads section) about how to
use the die roller. The instructions should be complete and posted tomorrow.
July 2, 2003
Violence Increases in the League
Last
week's doubleheader resulted in a pair of deaths, much to the delight of the
fans. The first game resulted in the Blistering Barnacles
thrashing the Horny Babes 4-0. The second game was a 2-0
victory for the Crypt Crusaders over the Frothy
Steins. Coach Dragon was pleased that a fresh dwarven corpse was
added to his roster. He was heard saying;
"Duff Longbeard
will help flesh out our team (pun intended) and bring some much needed
experience to our game"
Frog Machine
and Short & Surly tied 1-1 in another game late last week.
Injuries abounded for both sides and team apothecaries were hard at work.
Kaskat Sesto suffered a fractured leg and will be missing the next game, as
will his Machine teammates Throtvile Primo (groin injury) and Tisquat Quinzo
(smashed ankle).
"They hurt one of ours, we eat one of theirs" commented Funky
Fleetfoot, coach of the Short & Surly
June 24, 2003
New Section on Bloodbowl Website
Additional
sections are being added to the Bloodbowl website. The POSTS
section is where you can find all the latests services, bounties, loans,
and other information straight from the Team Coaches to you. To submit
anything for the POSTS section, simply submit an official statement to the
league Commissioner. The section is currently live and the Lustria Divas
are the first to post! Check it out.
The GRAVEYARD section is
being dug up soon. As the name implies, the GRAVEYARD is where we lay to
rest our fallen players. It is a place for them to be remembered. Please
note that access will be denied to all Necromancers.
Finally, there are rumours of a
Forums section. This will be the section where we can discuss
everything league related and bloodbowl related. Hopefully, this will also
be the place to post the time for your matches so that spectators can
watch the game, drink a bud,... true, true.
June 23, 2003
Surly Feast on Fans
The
Short and Surly beat the Frothy Steins 1-0
yesterday in front of fifty nine thousand fans. Chaos ensued when the
victorious team was accidentally let loose in the stands. Approximately two
thousand fans were badly mutilated, trampled, and ingested. While struggling
to get away from the insanity, one screaming fan stated;
"What is wrong with those Chaos Dwarfs?
They're crazy! They're insane! They're psychopathic! They're homicidal!
Where can I get a signed t-shirt of Dorin Kneecrusha? He's the best..."
June 20, 2003
BlueButts nix Babes
The
Blargson BlueButts beat the Horny Babes 4-0
yesterday in front of seventy thousand excited fans. When asked to comment
on the day's events, Coach Blargson replied;
"I wasn't terribly pleased by the quick
and viscious removal of the Bitch sisters from the game. I'm just glad that
they managed to take that Minotaur down with them. Shame they didn't kill
him... Good thing the sudden absence of female flesh allowed the rest of my
boys to stop oggling and start concentrating. Jack Ass stepped up and
demonstrated the sort of leadership qualities I find vital in Bloodbowl, or
seige warfare."
June 19, 2003
Three
Dead in Barnacles - Divas Match
Fifty three
thousand screaming fans watched in excitement as three players died
yesterday in a heated match between the Blistering Barnacles
and Lustria Divas. The record number of
fatalities promises to make this a very interesting Bloodbowl season. The
following is an except from the post game interview.
Hello
sportsfans, Skip Nowhere from BloodBowl Network News here with an
exclusive interview of Cobra Commander, MVP of the Blistering Barnacles'
4-0 trouncing of the Lustria Divas. Mr. Commander, how do you feel about
your first victory and about the loss of team-mate Snake Bandit?
"Sssssimpleton!
The Joessss, err Divassss were no match for our sssupieriority. They were
but a minor ssssteping sssstone to our future ssssucccccesssss. And assss
for the tassssty morsssel once called Ssssnake Bandit. He went down
nicccely with a glasssss of chardonnay ... now buzzss off vermin before I
make you desssssssert!"
June 17, 2003
First Game of the Season
The first game
of the 2003 season was held today at the NecroDome, home of the
Crypt Crusaders. Thirty four thousand screaming, moaning, and
wailing fans showed up to support the local heroes as they battled the
Frog Machine on the Bloodbowl field. Action and carnage
were plentiful as the Crusaders managed to score the match's only
touchdown late in the second half.
In the post game interview, Dee Khay a Crusaders' wight
and voted most valued player for the game was quoted as saying
"This was a very difficult first match for us, but we
are pleased with the results. It was certainly good experience for the
team and we learned alot from the match. The Machine gave as good as they
got, but luck was on our side. Now please excuse me, I think I've got some
rat fur stuck in between my fangs."
June 12, 2003
Blargburg Bluebutts Lineup Change
Coach Blarg
Blargson, of the Blargburg Bluebutts, announced today a few
last minute changes to the cheeky cheaters' starting lineup. This comes as a
result of last week's scrimage against the Lustria Divas.
While trying to
revive the Bluebutts' Witch Elf Sum Dum Bitch, who had taken a nasty spill,
the apothecary allegedly touched areas he wasn't supposed to. Although Sum
Dum was unconscious at the time, her twin sister Sum Dizzy was in the
stands. Upon observing the apothacary's actions, Sum Dizzy leapt onto the
field and charged the apothecary. Several Lustria players, unaware of
precisely what was happening, tried to stop Sum Dizzy who dodged through 2
Divas and unleashed a viscious double strike to the Apothecary's face,
sending him reeling back to an early grave and whipping the fans into a
frenzy the likes of which had never been seen at a Bluebutts game. Sum Dizzy
was immediately signed to a contract for the season.
With the loss of
his Apothecary, coach Blargson also decided to replace two of his linesmen
with the fabled Ass brothers, Jack and Dum taking the field as blitzers for
the Bluebutts.
Attendance at
Bluebutt exhibition games since the changes has more than doubled, which
Blargson claims is entirely due to his roguish good looks and fantastic
burping skills.
June 11, 2003
Update
Revised 2003 Season Schedule Posted
A revised 2003
Season Schedule was created earlier today with the help Coach Steve. Once
again, the schedule was randomly created and is posted in the "Matches"
section. Go take a look to see when you're playing and feel free to email
the commissioner with any public challenges, heckles, and bounties that
you would like made public.
At a press conference held today, Coach Steve issued a
statement regarding the recent termination of the Frothy Steins'
Team Apothacary from the team roster.
"Personality conflicts aside, we were sorry to have to let him go.
However, we just didn't find his services crucial to the lifeblood of the
team."
Coach Steve didn't deny accusations that the Steins' apothacary
was let go due to allegations that the team apothacary did not, in fact,
enjoy consuming beer.Whatever the reason, with the loss of the apothacary
the popularity of the Frothy Steins has risen
dramatically and attendance at the Steins most recent exhibition match has
doubled. The Steins' public is clearly behind Coach Steve on this move.
June 11, 2003
New Teams Join
With the start
of the 2003 season looming on the horizon, three more teams have qualified
to join the League. The Horny Babes , a Chaos team the
likes of which none have seen before, joined early yesterday morning. Quoted
earlier today, coach Zhul the Destroyer said;
"We were
just waiting for Gora the Impaler, our Minotaur player, to finish its meal.
We'll join now. By the way, that plump, juicy Halfing team we met on the way
here won't be joining up this season".
The second team to join the League is Frog Machine
, a skaven team which dedicates it's spare time to worshipping the Great
Frog, creator of the Universe. Coach Soapy Frog was heard explaining his
beliefs;
"We will prevail. We are FrogRats. No wait. We are
RatFrogs. Err.. We are FrRatogs. Or something like that."
The final team to enter the League yesterday was none other
than the Short & Surly , a "not-very-happy" group of Chaos
Dwarves. Only once during the press conference could something resembling a
smile be seen on Coach Funky Fleetfoot's face; when the subject of death and
destruction was brought up. The coach was quoted handing out this warning to
the other teams in the League
"Better wear a cup, Laddies!"
All three teams can be located in the locker room for
interviews.
With the unexpected entries of the three new teams, the
League commissioner will be posting a revised 2003 season schedule within
the next day or two. Be sure to check here later today.
June 9, 2003
DragonBowl
Season to Begin Next Week!
With the help
of Lord Slitharus, the season schedule has been randomly created and is
now posted in the "Matches" section. The season is scheduled to last 10
weeks and there will be three games per week. Please read the house rules
concerning scheduling of your matches. Other house rule changes include
revoking of the controversial "Permanent Star Players" rule.
June 1, 2003
The proxy server
is now fully operational. This will allow two teams to play each other
online with the Java client, without having to poke holes in their
firewalls. For detailed instructions, simply download the info from the
Downloads section.
May 30, 2003
Not to be outdone
by a group of "hot Amazon Babes", The Blargburg Bluebutts
have now joined the League. When referring to the Lustria Divas, coach
Blargson has been quoted as saying;
"My Dark Elven
team is ready to show them what sacking is really all about. We give a whole
new meaning to the term 'fouling'".
May 29, 2003
The
Lustria Divas have now joined the League. This all-woman team is a
definite favorite among the public, as can be seen by the large groups of
devoted fans who show up at every game. Welcome Divas!